The title may be a little confusing. I am not genuinely scared off people. I would even call myself pretty social and outgoing, but getting into a sport or a club where I don’t know anyone scares me. When I was a child, I once joined a sports club in my village because my parents told me that I will find a lot of new friends there and I was very exited for it. But it was in fact horrible. Nobody even tried talking to me, the other kids didn’t even looked at me. And the trainers tried to include me but it really just made the people in the club ignoring me even more. I am a talkative person so I even tried to get in contact with them but they only gave dry answers. Every time I got home, I faked liking it (I honestly don even know why I did) so i went there for more the two years, including weekend trips and special events while hating every second of it. After those two years I wasn’t able to fake liking it anymore so I told my parents. They completely understood , informed the trainers and I never came back. Since then I’ve never joined a sports club again, even though I love doing sports and I love group activities. After that monologu, I finally wanted to ask: what can I do to stop this fear? I feel like it’s really coming in my way on how I’d want to live my life and I don want to accept this anymore. So, do you habe any tips on how to get rid of this fear?
4 comments
Join a sports club, commit to it for a few weeks. If the people are cold and unapproachable then move onto another club. Rinse and repeat until you find a good fit.
you just got to sign right up for this particular sports group.
Go there for the love of the sport and not to make friends. When you feel free and are having a good time, you’ll glow and attract friends. Don’t seek for them.
You’ll see the same faces every time you meet up. Around the 2nd or 3rd time, try to find someone who seems to be just as anxious as you were and start talking to them and lifting their spirits, as well as yours. Congratulations, you made a new friend.
Try bouldering or rock climbing. It’s a solo sport but also has a strong community vibe.
It sounds like you might have some kind of trauma related to this childhood experience. If you can’t force yourself to “just sign up” for a sports club, I’d consider going to a few therapy sessions with someone who specializes in EMDR therapy or another form of trauma treatment. Small issues like this can usually be worked out in 2-3 sessions.