So, I (25F) work remotely and tend do work at this kava bar where I’m a regular. This older guy (I’m assuming probably 40-45M) who also works remotely as a software engineer is also a regular there. I just recently noticed him but it seems like every time we’re both there, he’ll stare at me from across the room, or if I’m walking past, he’ll make eye contact. Maybe it’s just me being attracted to him? I can’t tell.
We’ve chatted briefly a few times and he seems very friendly to me and other people, and very humorous as well. He also always greets me (says hello when he sees me/goodbye when he leaves if convenient). So I can’t tell if he’s just friendly in general or if he’s interested in me. And if he is interested, how should I approach him to ask him out without it being awkward if he says no (since we’re both “work” at the bar)? I’ve only had experience with guys my age and never a man so mature so I’m a little nervous honestly
2 comments
I’m not sure… but what I can tell you, as a guy in his mid-30s, is that expressing interest in any girl younger than 30 makes me worry that I will come off as a total creep. He will not make the first move. If you saw him checking you out, he probably won’t turn you down if you just asked.
You could get him to call you by name, smile more than you do with other customers. Ultimately all you need to do is set the logistics to meet outside of work, that means sharing your contact info, your work hours, etc.
You said you chatted with him so basically do more of that and slip hints in, slip so many hints in and so many chats in that you want to chat more, and chat outside of work. So you need to “have the date” in the bar, before asking him out for the real date