I’ve only ever known diaper parties to be an event where the guys get together and have some drinks to celebrate a baby being born. My boyfriend’s friends have ordered a stripper to come to their house for their friend who just had a baby with his wife. The stripper is also apparently going to be doing body shots. Maybe I’m just overthinking but is this not incredibly disrespectful to his wife? I would be absolutely floored if im at home taking care of a newborn with my post partum body and my husband is out doing body shots off a stripper at his buddy’s house. I told my boyfriend my feelings around it, mainly that I feel it’s very disrespectful to women, especially his wife. To me, it seems really immature. My boyfriend has made it clear to me that regardless of my feelings towards this, he will be partaking in the activities because he wants to be with his friends. Does anyone have any advice on what I should do? I feel very strongly about this and don’t think it’s something I can just “get over.”
41 comments
He’ll be doing it to you too.
Ask him to flip the script and if he can be okay with you taking a shot off a strippers dick then he can go party
Dump him.
You’re not overthinking – it’s disrespectful to the wife and any partner of boys in attendance. It’s immature and probably tells you everything you need to know about how much they value and respect women (not a lot).
You told your boyfriend how it made you feel – he essentially told you he doesn’t care and he’s going to do what he wants regardless of how it makes you feel. If you can’t get over him going and he goes, dump him.
Eurgh I was annoyed hubby wanted to go to a stag do when the baby was 3 weeks old. To arrange one yourself and pretend it’s for the baby is just eurgh.
“ Regardless of my feelings toward this, he will be partaking in the activities because he wants to be with his friends”
He doesn’t care about your feelings. He doesn’t respect women. He is telling you this. Listen to men when they tell you who they are.
I’m not telling you to leave him but if you’re OK with being with a man that doesn’t respect women and doesn’t care about your feelings, then he’s the right man for you.
Sorry if this sounds harsh but yea he’s being disrespectful and so is his friend who planned this party.
This is the stupidest thing I have read on here . Getting together and watching the game , but why strippers and body shots . Nothing good can come if this
It’s disgusting. I would not accept my partner taking shots off of a dirty stripper. I’d be gone.
Strippers in general? Meh but whatever. Strippers at a postpartum baby shower while mama is still healing so dad and his boys can get collective boners together? No fucking way
I’ve never heard of a diaper party before and I’m a guy. All my buddies have kids. We never once even though to get strippers to celebrate.
That is most pathetic shit I have ever heard.
Well OP, as a guy, I’m with you. No strippers are needed to celebrate a birth, and your bf shit all over your feelings.
Get a better boyfriend with some morals. When you’re the mom with the newborn and have a problem with this (appropriately) all that’s going to happen is these children will shame you and that is the LAST thing that you need.
Seriously, this is absolutely pathetic.
I don’t think you’re overreacting at all and it is completely disgusting and disrespectful to that mama wife. And base on the response your bf gave you after you shared your feelings about it, my advice would be to dump that child and find a real man. I don’t even think strippers at a bachelor/bachelorette party are acceptable, but ESPECIALLY if one person is uncomfortable with their partner partaking in stripper activities then the other partner should absolutely respect that. I’d just get away from that whole group if I were you.
I’ve had 3 kids and have never heard of anything like this. If I would have even thought of suggesting this to either my current or ex wife they both would have killed me. It’s super disrespectful.
Oooo, I’d be fucking PISSED. Does his wife know this is going on?!
I can remember having a few friends over for a bbq/grill night. We cooked. No excessive drinking, just some friends getting together
“Regardless of your feelings” ?! I’d be furious. If some naked stripper body shots night is more important to him than a mature relationship you’re probably not meant for each other. I wouldn’t tolerate this disrespect and dump him.
I have never heard of this – I guess I don’t hang with a crowd of disgusting subhumans. It’s really gross.
I would leave faster than it would take for me to sign my name on a lease to a new apartment. This kind of mindset from you bf will only hurt you later in this relationship. Disgusting.
The wife just grew an entire second skeleton
This man’s priorities are fucked
He should be caring for the new skeleton
& if y’all were to have a baby together this same very thing would be happening. I would just break up & move along.
This is disgusting. But I have one question for you, do you want a future husband? Or a frat boy who will never grow up?
If you want the first one – DIP. That’s literally so foul. My partner would backhand his buddy if he proposed this idea. It’s so unbelievably disrespectful.
These are the same type of men who kill their wives bc “it’s easier than getting a divorce.” You cannot convince me otherwise.
Women need to stop tolerating this crap or things are never going to better. Have some self respect and dump this loser!
Just remember, this is him. Have fun watching your kid, while disgusted with your PPD body, while your bf goes to party with his friends and strippers… if you continue.
He clearly cares more about having fun and being with friends that taking any sort of moral high ground. You picked a real tool.
Ok, maybe this is regional, but I thought a diaper party was like a sprinkle. Something people throw for a parent when they’re on kid 2+ to help them stock up on diapers and wipes and other consumable baby stuff. I have never heard of a party like OP describes. I would dump the whole man; this is not someone I would trust.
So if his friends are fucking hookers he will be doing it too because “he wants to be with his friends?”
He sees no problem on what is happening and will cheat on you with no problems about it. Be warned
1. I’ve never in my life heard of a diaper party
2. Why is there a stripper involved in this?
3. Why is he out partying when his wife just had a baby?
4. Is the wife ok with that? Cause I gave birth a month ago and I’ll be dammed if my partner did something like that while I’m still bleeding from giving birth to our daughters.
5. They’re being extremely immature and you best believe if for some reason you have children with this man , he’ll do it to you as well.
Losers. All of them. If my boyfriend thought this was normal and appropriate I’d reconsider my entire relationship. All I would see is my future with his kid attached to my boob, bleeding and in desperate need of sleep and a shower while he’s doing shit like this with his friends. Hard no.
I am shocked this is even a thing…
Wow.
Nah. I’d tell him if he doesn’t care, I don’t. Go have your stripper and come back to a locked door and divorce papers.
you mean your ex boyfriend right? the fact he would even consider going to this is insane lol.
Mad inappropriate and juvenile. Wouldn’t want to go and my wife would KILL ME if I did. For the Father it’s just unimaginably disrespectful to his wife.
Not sure if you and your boyfriend live together but if you do and this was my situation? I’d smile, thank him for his honesty (meh- better than lying and claiming you just went canoeing when you were actually with sex workers which actually happened to someone I know)
And as I smiled and thanked him for his honesty, I’d be packing his things. People are welcomed to make what choices seem right to them and I’m also welcomed to chose my own boundaries with their choices.
Then if I knew the new momma I’d probably spend my final evening with that circle helping her. After I change the locks and block his ass!
You are acting as if your boyfriend is above these guys when you talk about how disrespectful they are. Your boyfriend is one of these guys. He not only condones this behaviour, but will be participating in it *regardless of your feelings*. I think that tells you everything you need to know about your future with this man.
All my husband wanted after I had our daughter was sleep. A man that has energy for a party with a newborn at home, clearly isn’t pulling his weight.
Everything about this ‘party’ is vomit-inducing. Older dude buying younger dudes a sex worker.
They all sit around watching a lone woman gyrate while they slap each other on the back and get chubs together. Shudder.
The whole power dynamic is sinister and misogynistic.
Then add in the fact that the supposed love of one dude’s life is at home, bleeding profusely, sleep deprived with a screaming baby attached to her tits.
Where is her party? Her stripper whose dong she gets to lick whipped cream off of?
Update: i texted him, “I’m not telling you that you aren’t allowed to go. You are your own person and i cannot tell you what you can and can’t do. I’m just telling you, it’s crossing a boundary in our relationship for what I’m comfortable with because I find it really disrespectful. I think most women would have a huge issue with this and if they don’t, good for them, but that’s not me.” He replied, “I’m sorry you feel that way, but I am going. It’s a harmless event and I wish we could understand each other better.”
Needless to say, I don’t think this is someone I want to continue in a relationship with. Many of you brought up the point that it is HIGHLY likely he will do the same to me someday and I’m not interested in being with someone like that. This is the difference between boys and men ladies and gents!
I’m going to put my cards on the table and tell you… My Wife would boot my balls if I attended or arranged something like this.
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It’s massively disrespectful and I’d deserve it, for sure.
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Your husband is being a total bellend.
As a guy, this is literally the first time I’ve heard of it. It sounds moronic and and excuse to be inappropriate at a minimum and cheat at maximum. Seriously re-think your relationship with this big baby.
Doubt the friends wife knows anything about this lmaoooo nobody would let this fly