How did you spend your 20s, and what do you regret not doing in your 20s? What are some tips for someone in their 20s?

36 comments

  1. I think the identical thread in AskMen is plenty. Looks like that one has gotten traction

  2. Hanging out with useless people that where ‘Friends’. So many people in that era, including woman I dated, where out for their own self gain and promoting their self-destructive habits. So many scenarios that ended badly could have been avoided if I just stop chasing after being in a circle of friends. The time I wasted could have been better spent on getting to a better place myself.

    ​

    But hindsight is 20/20. At the time I didn’t have any real prospective of how things really worked in the world and alot of lessons that are really valuable to me now I had to learn the hard way. So, its all a necessary regret I guess.

  3. **1) Start investing as early as possible, even if it’s just a little bit. And keep it simple, boring, and profitable.** $100/month into SPY/VOO (10% average annual return) from age 25 to 35 would have turned into $21K… or nearly double the amount saved. Compound growth is the most powerful force in the universe. Increment that up as you earn more into your early and mid 30s and suddenly you’re sitting on six figures of investments. I didn’t start doing this until early 30s, and wish to goodness I had those lost 5-8 years back.

    **2) Develop and maintain a 2-3 times weekly workout schedule, and stick to it for life.** Trying to rebuild physical health in your mid and late 30s is a bitch when you spent the decade prior treating your body like a dumpster. I didn’t do this until my mid 30s, and its an uphill climb every step. Develop those habits early and never abandon them.

    **3) Pick a lifetime sport (bowling, golf, tennis, swimming, whatever) and practice it once a week, every week for life.** Do this aside from your workout schedule. It’ll keep you active, away from screens, and give you a community at both a global and local scale. It’s important to spend time away from home, especially now when everything is at your fingertips with social media and smart phones. I was a two sport varsity athlete in high school… then just stopped everything. I picked golf back up in my mid 30s, and wish I had all those years of practice and fun back.

  6. Regrets are unavoidable.

    That being said, I got a job and focused on having fun and working up the ladder at work. In my 30s, I travelled a ton and spent more freely than was wise, but I am glad I did it. I saw the world, had tons of experiences and had a lot of fun.

    Now I’m in my 40s and finally settling down, bought a house, saving hard for retirement etc. While I could have had millions in retirement saved up, I am glad I lived like I did vs buckling down and saving pennies.

    I’ll still be fine for retirement as I make a lot more money now and can save aggressively in much larger amounts.

    A lot of people would argue this is a stupid way to live and that it was better saving and scraping to build that retirement nest egg…but I’ll own my house free and clear long before I retire and have quite a bit saved, to each their own.

    I’ve kissed my wife in Paris, sang kareoke all night in Japan, slept outdoors in Iceland, saw my homeland in Ireland, partied in Amsterdam, honeymooned in Italy, been all over and seen so many cultures and experiences. I don’t know what you could offer me to give that all back.

  8. Proper dental hygiene. Don’t fuck around. Figure out a way to floss after every meal and brush em at least twice a day.

    Or pay. Physically, fiscally, mentally.. you name it.

  9. I would recommend getting handle on and investing in your emotional health. At this point in history we are just emerging into understanding emotional health. Most people (especially guys) don’t have the ability to process or understanding their emotions, so if you do you have a life time leg up.

    It will impact all of your relationships and your future kids and spouse (if you want that) will be grateful for it.

  12. Have many circles and groups of friends. Ideally you’ll find a partner in them.

    Have coworkers have pick all groups have beach people- know people in many many circles. Meet your friends families, make friends with your neighbors and meet their friends.

    In your 30s, things will get real quiet w people partnering up and having kids and moving away and being busy.

    If you’re single- you need more groups of people to find a partner in.

  13. take a lot of shots.

    curious about a language? study it.

    wanted to be a barista? go get a part time job.

    want to build your own app to automate mundane tasks? learn to code.

    20s is when you should experiment HEAVILY in all facets of your life.

  15. Make the following decisions with your brain first, gut second:
    * investing/anything financial
    * budgeting/purchasing decisions
    * career to pursue
    * whether to take on debt

    Make the following decisions with your heart/gut first, brain second:
    * Where to live
    * Whom to marry
    * What hobbies to pursue
    * Whether and when to have kids

    If you don’t make balanced decisions, regret is inevitable.

  16. If you have a decent relationship with your parents hang out with them more, even if it’s just talking with them at their kitchen table.

    You’ll always have some regrets but if you follow the top comment and travel some you will have a decent life.

  17. Off the top of my head (in no order):

    1) Invest in S&P 500 mutual funds & retirement account(s). Even if it’s just $50 or $100 a month to start it’s about building the habit. Easier to increase this amount later than to start contributing from zero and having to set it up etc.

    2) Stay active. Do workouts and/or go for walks at least a couple times a week. It’s easy to lose this if you skip a week or two.

    3) Party. Stay out late. Enjoy the funny transition from childhood to adulthood where you’re not quite either (20 to about 25ish). BE SAFE but also let loose and have some fun.

    I personally did all these to some degree but definitely have areas where I wish I may have done some a little more at times. I can’t imagine not doing them at all or very rarely. Great things to do for your mental, physical, and financial health now and into the future.

  19. Don’t put off things you want to do. I had things I wanted to do in my mid twenties that I put off for about 2 years to focus on finishing my degree.

    Then the pandemic came and wiped out all possibilities to do those things for an additional 2-3 years. That’s five years of not doing what you want to do in life and now I’m 30. It’s a bitter pill to swallow.

    Of course it’s good to finish your degree, but I put so much off to do it. I could have allowed myself to follow my dreams for a day or two a week without neglecting my studies. I could have allowed myself a week off at some point to travel. I could have hung out more with friends in the evenings and studied more concentratedly during the days. I just thought that I could allow myself to do those things AFTER the degree was done.

    Tomorrow is not promised.

  21. Idk, I caught a lot of demons in my 20s and have a good chunk of debt. But I’m working on it, have a save place to live and an okay job.
    I think being humble and thankful if a big part of life whatever age stage your at. Life happens, it sucks sometimes.

  22. Make friends. Social relationships after you start working have a completely different taste.

  23. Establish healthy habits.

    * eat healthy
    * exercise regularly
    * avoid hard drugs
    * use soft drugs (marijuana, alcohol) in moderation

    You don’t have to insane OP. You don’t have to train like a bodybuilder or olympic athlete. Walk/jog/ride a bike for 1 hour a day, stretch throughout the day, get annual checkups (if you can afford it, I know a lot people are in the USA and can’t afford it because of your insane healthcare system). Drink or smoke weed in moderation. (Or not at all if you like.) Avoid hard drugs, avoid activities that could get you injured/killed.

    I’m over 40 (born 1981) and I feel as if I’m a healthy man in my 20s. I don’t go insane with my training. An hour of cycling a day, stretching throughout the day, weekends I cycle for longer than that with a small group.

    You have only one body. If you don’t establish healthy habits now, you’ll be screwed in your 30s and 40s (and beyond).

  28. If I had 20 again I would:

    First and foremost go hardcore mode on my career and studies. Like study more, work more, hustle more. Take advantage of my young energy. Invest more. This would be my number one priority.

    Secondly, and I will get down voted by this but hell life should be fun and adventurous, I would party way more. In your 20s your body can recover way better from party nights, alcohol, drugs, women…. I would go out, meet more girls, make more friends, experiment way more. Just don’t get addicted.

    Third, get the basics of good health like gym, cooking, sleep hygiene.

    Then, in my opinion the ideal age for a man to marriage if he follows the above advice is early 30s. You’re attractive, have energy and money and with this age you can choose a young and beautiful woman and the probability of a good and long marriage is positive.

    In your 30/35 you should change your focus to health and family and close good relationships and of course money (always). And slow down a little.

  29. start working young, education isnt as valuable in modern times unless its for medical, experience trumps

  31. Don’t spend you youth thinking you can eat/drink whatever you want and the exercise your way out of it. There is a saying that goes you can’t outrun a bad diet. If you are doing that you are likely not in as good shape as you think. As you age it becomes more true. I waited until my early 40s to fix it and I wish I could go back and do it earlier as I didn’t realize how much it was impacting me. I found out much of middle age is just the stuff we inflict on ourselves.

  32. I regret not being more strict in school, could’ve saved me a couple years worth of tuition and investing. Albeit I was pursuing relationships at the same time and after each one ended it helped me graduate. Learned a lot from them too. So really it’s all kinda worked out, but still would’ve been nice to have a long term partner. Either way now I’m filtering very carefully and just about to be 30 so can’t complain.

    Little things like taking care of my teeth better and starting a skincare routine. Just personal hygiene. Maybe being more empathetic or trying more drugs, like hallucinogens.

  33. Concentrate on making money..Thats a proxy for compounding skills and you have to put in the reps to get those skills.

    It.is much better to be rolling in $$$$ in your thirties and forties than be trying to climb out of a hole in your thirties and forties

  36. Get an education, instead of dropping out at 16 because your band is “for sure gonna make it”. We didn’t. I’m pretty happy with my job now, but it would have been nice to have options to find something I really loved

Leave a Reply
You May Also Like