Hey r/sex,
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New user here, throwaway. I need advice.
A bit of backstory about me, I’m 28M and I’ve had sex regularly throughout my life, had around total of 6 sexual partners and maybe once or twice an issue of not being able to finish during sex. What happened to me yesterday totally blows my mind…
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So I’ve recently started dating again, met this nice 28F girl, we bonded, went on several dates and we had a really great time. During our around 5 or 6th date she mentioned that she didn’t do any sexual act in her life (a virgin), that includes that she didn’t ever masturbate. I told her that this doesn’t matter, we’ll get through it and we don’t need to rush. So here comes yesterday – we are making out, everything is going well and we remove our clothes one by one. We’re naked and in the missionary position and I try to insert my penis in her vagina.. But it’s nothing like I’ve ever felt before – it just doesn’t want to go in. It’s like there isn’t any hole to me to get in or at least I didn’t discover it. I get nervous a bit and my erection gets floppy… we start nervously laughing… We talk about it, I say I’m sorry and that it’s my bad this being her first time and all, but inside I’m panicking. We try again next day but completely the same thing happens, I just cannot insert my penis into her vagina.. She even tries to guide it in, but it gets floppy again because of me overthinking it.. I feel devastated.
Now my erectile disfunction can be explained by me really hoping for that moment for me to have sex with that girl to come sooner, I was thinking about it a lot and masturbating a lot, even using toys. So now I’ve banned myself from masturbation and hoping I can stay hard, but the problem with entering the vagina still remains, It’s like it’s blocked off or there’s no way to enter I can’t for the life of me explain it, it sounds funny. Perhaps it can be a medical thing? Or maybe the vagina has that virgin seal thing which is preventing me from penetration?
I have no idea what to do, maybe if I manage to talk to her I’ll get her consent to try playing around with fingers to find the entry.. This has completely ruined our both moods and makes us anxious, please advise! 🙂
2 comments
Definitely make the goal her relaxation, you fingering, getting her super aroused, and making sure she’s opened up enough.
You could try oral on her, it would be less disappointing if you gave that clit some nice attention, and she managed to cum before y’all even thought about penetration, too.
There’s all types of shapes, the opening is unique for each woman, so just need to get geography, and take away stress.
Definitely talk to her and try oral.