What do you think are the differences in responsibilities with a live in partner versus a husband?

17 comments

1. You mean common-law versus married for a dude?

   Depending where the guy lives one is just way more on the hook in terms of legal and financial liability and would have a much harder time exiting the relationship then the other one would. If a married dude wants out regardless of what he wants he may have to potentially give up 50% of everything he owns, pay for the legal divorce and even potentially have to pay alimony to his spouse after the split. The guy living common-law may not have to give up or pay anything. That does depend on your jurisdiction though.

   Financial stuff really depends on the couple. Different people handle that differently.

   For emotional stuff and chores there probably isn’t a huge difference.

2. I lived with my wife for 5 years before we married. Shared bank account, home, chores etc. nothing changed after the wedding except a bit of paper saying we were married.

3. a live in partner hasnt taken any vows so they are not obligated to any duty in any way.

4. If the relationship has a chance of lasting long term, you’re better off not moving in together until marriage. https://liberalarts.du.edu/news-events/all-articles/new-du-study-highlights-risks-living-together-engagement

   > The study found that 34% of marriages ended among those who lived together before being engaged, while just 23% of marriages ended among couples who waited until after engagement or marriage to move in together.

5. No difference whatsoever

6. We waited forever to get married and originally didn’t plan on doing it at all, so by the time we did there wasn’t any room for anything to change, I’d been acting like a husband for a decade. I will say that signing the paper motivated us to stay in a little better shape now that leaving would be a whole legal thing. If she’s stuck with me I want to stay attractive.

7. Same responsibilities to me imo. I won’t let my girlfriend move in until after marriage. Living together before marriage isn’t the move for me. Also, she’ll be doing the majority of the cooking and cleaning(+85%).

8. I would keep my finances separate with a live in partner.

9. No difference really aside from some administrative stuff like taxes and health insurance.

10. Lived with my wife 4 years before marriage. Completely no difference.

11. If you are living together there is not difference in my eyes.

12. Depends on what you’re doing already. But IMO the biggest thing is don’t treat getting married like the finish line.

13. None?

14. Yeah the one big thing that changed was we started sharing our finances. We kinda did before but now we both have names on the same account vs us splitting what accounts buy what. There’s absolutely no my money your money anymore regardless of who is making more money in that time it’s just hey now we have more money and any extra is awesome. We definitely don’t make purchases without the others knowledge or consent either unless it’s like a coffee or snack or lunch or something.

    I feel we are closer now and I think she feels the same but that’s just natural in a good relationship anyways

15. When I lived with my girlfriend we kept separated finances and paid towards the apartment equally.

    Now everything is combined. I don’t have any money and neither does she. We have money.

16. [removed]

17. That’s between the couple OP.

    It’ll be different with different couples.