Should I just end it now or keep trying?

I’m not sure where to start other than to just dump it all out there. I’m 2 months out of brain surgery and a long recovery which is still ongoing and I feel I’m not getting enough sympathy for that. I’m up and walking around and that seems to be good enough for everyone else but just about every single day is a 8/10 pain level headache that may never go away. Our financial situation has suffered partially as a result of this and we’ve moved back in with my parents which I commend her for even doing. Many women wouldn’t. Long story short, I don’t make a lot and she doesn’t make a lot even with rent not being an expense.

We or at least I have hope and a plan to get out of this and move on but my wife is heavily damaging this with phrases such as “I’m not happy”. Here’s another good one, we have enough money saved for her to finish her teaching degree but rather than use it she’d rather go to her grandfather who wrote her out of his will for no good reason at all. He’s a man with past military experience and community service awards on the wall, someone you’d expect to have morals. I’d spit on his shoes I ever saw him again and it hurts me that she’d go to him rather than build a life with the savings we worked so hard for.

She’s also walked out before, and I ended up asking her to come back because I felt like I didn’t give 100%. She came back, and the same kind of talk is continuing. Now I do feel like I gave 100%, and I wouldn’t cry one bit if she left. Like that old country song she wouldn’t be worth the whiskey at this point if she did.

But, at the same time I’m 100% not dating or marrying ever ever again. Once this is over it’s over. I’ll be a woman hater for the rest of my days. I might have left out some details and I’ll try to edit as I think of them but should I just end it now as in divorce and save myself some time? She said she wants to try and make it work but I don’t know how genuine it is.

I also have my autistic brother to consider. I can’t build a future with an unfaithful wife who I’d partially depend on financially and have my brother tied into it. He can’t take care of himself. He can work small retail jobs but he’ll never get a career. I’m stuck with that load. It’s just a shame, at 34 it seems like her priorities are completely backwards. Her mother will charge her $500/month that she can’t even afford to move back in with her. Her grandfather who’s supposed to have integrity dangled a carrot in front of her and yanked it away for no good reason at all. Meanwhile my family took her in no questions asked. All because “I’m not happy”. Guess what neither am I, and I thought we could claw out of it together.

I’ve posted here before, it’s about the only sub that doesn’t have a bunch of silly rules and requirements. I do fly off at the mouth and I’m not innocent, but at least how I was raised, cursing like a sailor is one thing and actions are another.