Is my landlady trying to extort me?

My landlady is unpredictable, and I live in her house in a room for which I’m paying $950; the security deposit was $825; we met in August and I moved in September 1st. Anyways, I have photo and text evidence of her changing her mind on a bunch of things, including rent and utilities for half the month before I move out this month on November 14th…I gave her notice on October 14th, and she told me I could stay until the 15th, but now she’s saying I have to move out the 14th, and yesterday I paid her the $550 (Rent is usually $950.) after she said last month that it includes utilities and the cleaning fee,”—but yesterday at 11 pm she messaged me and said:

“Ok thanks! I forgot to mention the extra $25 for utilities for winter time that needs to be included in the November rent. Btw, I noticed the water bill has gone up by $10-$15 for the last two months. The utilities are shared so you’d have to pay the extra for the increased water bill.”

She’s also said in August before I moved in I can use part of her fridge and microwave and then right before I moved in told me to buy my own fridge and microwave to keep in the garage or my room because hers “get messy,” so I understood—but then weeks later got picky and said she didn’t want me to cook things in the garage because the garage where I keep my food & microwave “smells like ham” from me microwaving turkey bacon I use on my almost daily lunch sandwich, so I asked “Where am I supposed to make my food? I have to somewhere.”, etc. She did apologize for being harsh, but she continues to do things like this. She originally said I couldn’t use the laundry at all, but I told her I was paying rent and should be able to once a week, and she did agree to that. She also did say I would get my security deposit back on November 14th, but who knows now?

Anyways, should I tell her I’m going to talk to my lawyer and get one? A few of my friends told me I should. I have usually had good landlords but had an apartment complex try to keep my security deposit when I was super neat and cleaned the place for them, so I threatened them with legal action, and they returned my money. Should I do the same here? I think she’s being a little petty and unreasonable, but I don’t know…and when I’ve been nice to her she pulls something like this. I don’t feel comfortable living here anymore—luckily have a new place to move to that’s cheaper and family friends live there—and haven’t since last month when she was saying mean things to me after I lost a family member; she was telling me I don’t have the privilege to use anything else unless I pay. I’ve never had someone I live with be so unpredictable like this. No one else lives here besides her sweet dog, and though she’s interviewed many people for 2 other rooms, no one else has moved in…I thought it was a good deal overall—private access to my own bathroom, and a nice bedroom—but she’s friendly and super chill and then picky and unforgiving, and her vibe is sullen and she’s not very sociable. She’s a therapist and basically never leaves the house or sees anyone like friends except for walks with her dog, or for work outside the home, as she usually works from home.