While I actually don’t want to be a extrovert type social I just need a method on how to get work so I can pay for a therapist.
Because working alongside people drives me to a mental breakdown every now and then
And a tit bit of opened ghestalts about being unworthy if I can’t pay for myself
And I’m so fixated on being financially and spacially independent from parents that it gives me migraine every now and then
And more anxiety
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Well, I’ll talk to myself, since I minute of thinking “WTF IM I” does clear up my mind
Calling myself unworthy of something is the ego talking. Self-importance but upside-down.
Still, I may be uncomfortable and scared of social interactions, because of my past. But it’s proven that exposing oneself to positive experiences when scared can ease the phobia.
I still prefer to be lonely, I still can’t really trust others. But I’m working on it, maybe one day it wouldn’t even be an issue.
I still would try to notice when ego talks and I’ll keep it at bay.
I hope I fix myself sooner than I go delusional again.
This nightmare will end soon.
It’s gonna be alright.
God give me strength.
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In 2022, you dont have to work for anyone or with anyone to make money.