How important is that your wife has a great professional career?

45 comments

  2. it’s important to me that my wife is at least employed, my mom left her job to raise my brother and me but over time it’s turned her into an agoraphobic facebook conspiracy theorist. seen it happen with a lot of friends’ unemployed moms

    truth is kids only benefit from a stay at home parent until around middle school, after that it’s time to go to work

  3. Single here, but I wouldn’t care. I’d support whatever a partner wanted to do, as long as they could contribute, along with myself, in a way that would help support us both.

  4. Absolutely fundamental. My wife is a fucking powerhouse of positive change. It’s my duty to support and promote that too.

  6. It doesn’t matter. If she does, great. If she doesn’t, awesome.

    I’d much rather just find a good woman.

  7. 0 percent. She might need to make money for us to survive, but all I care about is that she doesn’t hate her job.

  8. Personally, I’d prefer to marry a woman who wants to be a SAHM. I make more than enough to support a family comfortably, so anything more is just extraneous. Having someone I trust to take care of the home is far more valuable to me than extra money.

  9. Very. Married to a financially illiterate low earner for 14 years. Didn’t make that same mistake the second time around, and now I’m retiring early. So, yeah, having a comfortable life and retiring early is pretty important.

  10. Not at all. She can do what she wants. I’ll make sure I work enough that I can provide for my household. If she wants to work then sure, if not, that’s perfectly fine.

    If I can take care of the ones I care about then I’m complete as a man.

  12. It’s a complete non factor for me. She can flip burgers for all I care. If she makes money cool, but it doesn’t make her more attractive as a spouse. A 5/10 making 30k == 5/10 making 300k. I’m more focused on how she looks and what her personality is like. There’s no real benefit for me dating a woman makes a lot of money anyway. For most men they can barely get their girl to buy them a happy meal. When men make money it’s to provide for their family. For women they make it so they don’t need a man majority of the time. Plus they don’t like spending it anyways…

    I make enough money to where I could cover all the bills solo. Besides I could have my wife work at my company anyway. Wife having a great professional career ranks a 0/10.

  14. Not important, but if she doesnt work she needs to keep busy and make friends and have hobbies or be active in the kids lives. My mom laid in bed all day every day and took sleeping pills and became an angry bitter woman and I am not gonna experience that a second time

  17. I like that my wife wanted a career that benefitted people more than she wanted a fancy one. (That is, I like that she thinks about people besides herself and I don’t just mean me. This is not to be taken for granted.)

    And, on a general level that I hate to see talent wasted, and I know she’d be miserable if she was still working the kinda job she had when we met.

    But I didn’t go looking for someone who already had a particular career, as a checklist item, if that’s what you mean.

  18. If she has a great career, I would absolutely not marry her no matter what. Women who earn more money than their husband leave, like 90% of the time. Why would I want that? I want her to make significantly less, or nothing at all, because I don’t want to waste my time in a relationship that has a high probability of ending even if I’m great and do nothing wrong.

  19. I don’t care if she has a great career. I do want her to work. I don’t care if that means we hire a maid service and lawn service to help keep the pressure on us low. I’m a pay raise off of that myself. However if one of us gets incapacitated, I’d rather it not be our financial death warrants.

  20. For me, it’s important for her to pursue her dreams, so very. That being said, if/when I get to the point of making enough to support us without her income, I will gladly give her the option to not work.

  21. Couldn’t care less. If she wants one I’ll support her but I’ll support her NOT wanting one even more.

  22. I don’t care at all. It’s my duty as a husband to support my wife & provide for her. I encouraged my wife to leave her exhausting corporate job so she could take a sabbatical and explore her interests. If she wants to have a flourishing career, awesome! If she wants to cook old ladies meals at church & support people in our community by visiting folks and being a nurturing/loving presence for them, then I totally support that.

    It’s important to me that she uses her endless positive characteristics to find fulfillment in her life, whether that’s a career or helping others feel loved. That does mean that money is tighter and we have to be more mindful of spending, and that’s ok. Our basic needs are met, so if we never have the huge kitchen with the island in the middle, that’s fine. At the end of the day it’s just stuff.

  24. It matters to a certain extent. My friends always say to never date broke girls so I would say 65% of your salary would be fine.

  25. Work is important but I don’t really care what someone does.

    If you’re the best cashier in the world and love cashiering, more power to you!

  26. Not at all. Her career right now is helping us pay back my student loans but then after that we’re going to buy a house and then she is going to not work for like 15 years while we raise our kids.

  29. Kind of amazed at the degree of gender traditionalism in these responses. It is important that my wife has a rich, challenging, growth-inspiring life. A professional career outside the house is going to provide the intellectual stimulation, personal development and experience that will make her a more interesting and complex partner. I don’t want a stay-at-home doormat.

  31. I wouldn’t have cared but having high dual income is the cheat code to become wealthy easily. We hit a million dollar networth at 32/30.

  33. It is important to know that she can support herself if something happens, though this is more important during the dating phase.

    Bringing in good money can be nice…. But we don’t see ourselves as having access to it…. So it’s like the money you pretend isn’t there in case it suddenly isn’t.

    On the negative side, her making money can increase her demands… But of course that can be more directly determined by talking with her. My job is stressful enough… I’m not looking for a second one. I’m looking for a partner to have my back when I face the one I have.

  34. Only matters to her. My wife told me before we got married that she wanted to work until we had kids. I was fine with it. She’s a great spouse and mom. Luckily, my career has provided for us and it’s about her happiness too.

  35. I wouldn’t get married but if we’re talking (potential) lover, then zero.

    I’m never going to be a sugar daddy, much less a classical provider, even if I ever can be because the power imbalance is a huge turn-off for me, but as long as she’s on her own feet, or her parents keep her or the state, I don’t really care.

  36. As long as she has income that is all that matters, it could be disability income, a job, rent from tenants if she has properties she owns, or retirement…she needs to at least be financially independent.

  37. Not at all. I want her to be happy, so I guess if her career makes her happy, then it is important to me. But from a romantic or sexual perspective, it is more a problem to work around than a boost.

    I do want her to be fiscally responsible, though.

  39. Great professional career isn’t necessarily important… But the amount of money she brings in + how much time she spends working per week to make that money are more important.

    I value stability and comfort. Make a lot of money but live modestly.

  41. It is important that she has a career. I have many male friends(no kids) that are the sole breadwinners while their gf/wives sit at home and watch Netflix all day. They don’t exercise, don’t go to school, don’t learn any useful skills, they just sit at home on social media watching tv all. Damn. Day.

  42. My goal has always been to earn enough that my wife has the freedom to do whatever she chooses. For much of our young married life, she earned more than I did. Once I finally reached a level where her income was no longer a necessity, we both agreed on her to be a SAHM. And I’m completely happy with that

  45. Financially speaking, it’s important. I don’t make enough to support our household, so if she’s got a great professional career, our HHI shoots up significantly.

    Edit: I guess it doesn’t have to be a “professional” career per se. My gf, who is a teacher (ie professional career), decided to work in a daycare again once our son was born because it is a much better work-life balance. I fully supported that despite the money/benefits being less.

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