So for the past 5-6 months me and my friends have not met tho we’ve kinda been connected over text( we’re all preparing for some exams) well we’re not bestest of friends but we hang out sometimes party sometimes etc.
So we had our exam today but for some reason I did not made eye contact with ANY of them I did not even smile at them no talking nothing and was feeling miserable inside ( I’ve been kinda socially awkward but today was very different) , like I asked a literally stranger for some help I needed but was unable to ask the same from my friends, I had small talks with people I’ve talked with but did not even look at them but I really wanted to. I could see one of my friends through peripheral vision he was looking at me but I kinda gave an awkward/ rude look and literally ran away as soon as the exam got over.
I don’t want to seem rude or awkward I actually want to talk w my friends but I am unable to do so . I have another exam tomorrow tho we will only have 5-10 minutes to talk because we have buses to catch but please help how do I break ice, due to exam pressure I am unable to even smile. If anyone could give some tip
4 comments
Are you looking for words to use? “Hey man what’s up, how you been” will do the trick but there must be a reason you are almost afraid to look at them.
What’s going on? How are you or have you been spending most of your time at home?
Wtf is this lol
I can understand your pain, I’m sorry. Could you maybe send them a text saying, “hey, I’m sorry I didn’t talk to you guys in person, it’s been hard socializing since I haven’t seen you guys in a few months, but I want to,” or something like that? I know you said you’re not that close but would they be understanding if you told them something like that?
I have been in similar situations as you. I’d regularly pretend that I didn’t see people I walk past on the street (who I’d normally have a friendly chat with in more comfortable/ familiar settings) to avoid having to say hi to them.
For me, I think it’s because I have a fear of “underperformance” socially and disappointing the other person. E.g. they have an expectation of me that I am X level of social adeptness, but happen to fall short of their expectation on that day because I am emotionally under-resourced. It’s easier to avoid that situation than face “reality” and risk disappointing the other person…
My tip is to just try and embrace however you are on the day, start by saying hi/smiling at the person and try to forgive yourself if you come across awkward/say something stupid/ can’t think what to say etc etc. I know, SOOO much easier said than done. And try to have faith that people are generally more forgiving of these things than you think, and you’ll have “another chance” next time, of coming across better with them.
The longer you spend before “getting back on the horse”, the harder it feels too. Just expose yourself to these social situations again, and it will feel a little bit easier over time and with regular exposures.
Xxx