Yes so guys, if the person you’re dating tells you they need space for days, it’s probably over. I kinda feel hopeless I’m only 20F but I’ve already been heartbroken twice now and don’t understand. I have so much love to give and try my best to be the best when it comes to dating. I feel confused, betrayed and hurt by the 21M I was dating for almost 3 weeks. He ended things today, after saying he needed space, I knew it was probably the end, but it hurts and I just don’t understand, things were going well between us. He had things he was going through, but I thought we were working them out together. 3rd time this has happened to me. They paint a dream future together, then they switch their tone out of nowhere 😔
TL;DR : Heartbroken after yet again feeling led on. I don’t feel like I want to date ever again and feel somewhat used. I don’t know how I’ll trust a guy ever again.
7 comments
I know how you feel, I am 18 and already this hurt by guys just like you. All the efford you invest in new relationships shows what a kind soul you are, however what if you follow a specific pattern of guys characters that is just not compatible to you? I only ask u that because I noticed that pattern in myself. Maybe take time off dating and build a lot of self esteem and confidence, have the mindset that you are so strong and perfect already on your own, without any guy. Once you have that mindset, the right guys will be attracted to you effortlessly. I wish you strength <3 good luck
Why are you having “dream futures” after three weeks with someone? I think you rush into infatuations, push too hard for a serious relationship and then are crushed when things don’t work out. Three weeks is barely getting to know someone. You’re scaring the guys away.
I’m with the others, but I’ll state it a bit differently. We’re all saying the same thing.
Yes, you are doing something wrong, but this is good news, because you have the power to fix it. The mistake is, like a lot of people right now, you’re trying to skip past the “getting to know you” stage and be in a committed relationship. This is happening because you’re getting your emotions involved before getting to know the person. It’s even possible some of these breakups occurred because you were wanting to move too quickly.
The solution isn’t easy, but you’ve got to find a way to keep your emotions in check, meaning don’t be in such a hurry. You have value as a person, meaning you want to find someone who appreciates. But you can’t skip steps.
You’re so young, process your grief, you’ll heal stronger
At 3 weeks, all you can have is infatuation and/or lust. You dont know the person well enough for it to be any real or lasting connection, so dont get too emotionally invested. If they are saying such things, consider it a red flag (look up love bombing).
Take things slowly, enjoy each other’s company, and get to know them. Dont be “heartbroken” after a few short weeks. Just accept that something wasn’t right for that person and move on.
You’re so young. The advice I would give my younger self is to make your own happiness. True happiness comes from within. It can’t come from someone else if you don’t have it.
Strive to build your own life and do what makes you happy. Try new things and don’t be afraid to fail.
If you have a foundation you build, you’ll never give your precious time away to someone who doesn’t deserve it. Do that and you will attract people who will appreciate the time you give them and be attracted to your confidence. They will lift you up.
Every minor breakup feels like a heartbreak and a disaster when you’re young. In 20 years, you’ll barely even remember their names. Give it time, work on yourself, and try not to get invested so fast. You may find a partner, or not. If you’re not happy in yourself, you’ll not be happy with a partner either.