This is an update to [the post I made yesterday](https://www.reddit.com/r/sex/s/oD6IrUjTfZ) about the 25yo guy I’ve been seeing who told me he’s a virgin.
First of all, thank you everyone who commented on my post yesterday. Everyone made me feel a lot better about the whole situation. Honestly, I don’t know why I was freaking out so much. I think I was just intimidated because I’ve never been the one with more experience compared to my partners and it makes me nervous to think about being the one to initiate sex.
We talked last night and I told him how I was feeling and he was very understanding. He said he expected whoever he dated to be a little apprehensive about his inexperience but that whenever it happens or however it goes that he won’t be disappointed. That really took the pressure off.
We agreed to take it really slow while we still got to know each other. He said he wanted to be in a relationship with someone before losing his virginity to them, which I thought was really sweet. We’re going to go out a few more times but I imagine we’ll be official pretty soon 🙂
Anyways, so while we didn’t have sex or anything last night we did have a pretty heavy make out session. We’ve kissed before (which he admitted was his first kiss), but haven’t made out or or anything. So after a while of making out I got on top of him and started to grind on him. Pretty quickly after I started that, he softly moaned and shook a little. I asked if he was okay and he said it was nothing, trying to hide that he came in his pants. I asked if he came and he said he was sorry. I could tell he was pretty embarrassed and tried to tell him it was okay. We stopped so he could go clean up and finished up the movie we were watching, kissing a little bit throughout the movie. He was pretty quiet the rest of the night before he left even though I kept saying it wasn’t a big deal.
I expected him to cum pretty easily since he’s literally never done this before, but I could tell he was pretty self-conscious about it. I’m seeing him again either tonight or tomorrow. Is there anything else I can say to make him feel better? It’s honestly not a big deal, and I need him to understand that. Any advice? Thanks 🙂
22 comments
Just reassure him like you already have. He is obviously embarrassed and that will take a bit for him to get over it.
Tell him next time he thinks he is about to cum, you can stop stimulating or grinding on him. He just needs to let you know it is ok to take a moment so he doesn’t cum right away.
Just keep grinding on him after he cums, he should get hard again fairly soon, and last a bit longer
GETTING ON TOP AND GRINDING IS NOT TAKING IT SLOW!! This was your first time making out??
Next time, ask him what he wants to do during that encounter, and then stick too it. Don’t take it further, like getting on top and grinding on him, unless he initiates verbally.
Honestly I’m worried about him.
He deserves a blowjob.
Just tell him exactly what you said here. He’s s lucky guy to have met someone like you
Just keep what you’re doing. Eventually he’ll get less sensitive and want to go further.
Honestly, you’ve been a saint and I’m glad he found someone like you to show him the ropes.
You must be disappointed on the one hand, and realize you have Midas powers on the other. Imagine being so irresistibly attractive to another human that the the mere promise of contact sets him off, this itself is a wonderful thing not many experience ever- and it’s not fake . If you love him, it will take time… but you’ll get there.
Instead of saying it’s not a big deal, tell him how you really feel about it. In my experience women feel good about being able to make us cum. If that’s the case here, tell him that. If it turned you on, tell him that.
Turn this negative (in his head) into a positive.
You need to do it back when kissing also easiest solution to a problem – if everyone does it then it’s cool 😂
Tell him you like it because it relieves a lot of insecurities you have about being able to make him finish! Tell him you masturbated thinking about how turned on you made him that he did that and even looked up porn about it but it isn’t as good as the memory of how turned on he was in that moment
He should take care of business on his own about 30 minutes or so before his next date with you. If I was his friend, that’s what I’d tell him.
“Oh! That’s ok!”
“What? No… you just rolled over on your juice box”
“Oh, thank God!”
Do you like the fact that you can make him cum? Then tell him that and make it a wonderful experience. I would imagine a couple well placed moans or ‘oh baby’s ‘ while he’s cumming would help him see that you enjoy his reaction and make it a very positive thing. Telling him afterwards that you like that will make him look forward to the next time.
If I was him, I think I would be nervous about not being able to satisfy you or you giving up on me, because I was so inexperienced and had something like this happen.
For that reason, if I were you, I think I would just talk to him about how you’re looking forward to slowly getting to know each other and having plenty of time to find out how to make everything work. In that way he should be less scared of a couple of performances that doesn’t go the way he planned.
Give him head.
I would consider it a huge compliment if a man came just from naming out with me. I would be very turned on. If you agree-tell him!
Tell him that that shit turns you on that you can make his dick cum by pretty much just sitting on his lap. Then proceed to try and do it again.
Beyond being self conscious, this might be the first time in his life he’s brought to orgasm by a girl, at an unexpected moment too. It’s quite a bit for him to process at that moment so maybe he chose to keep quiet.
I think he might now be worried about how you felt about the whole thing. The way you react could this either make him even more excited about you or super self conscious. If you found it cute he was so excited he lost control, let him know – it’ll let him feel more relaxed and enjoy the way his body reacts to you
Tell him you loved the make out session, and thought it was hot you made him cum!
It’s an excitement, adrenalin, increased blood flow thing and pretty typical in an inexperienced but otherwise fit male. There is no substitute for experience and practice, practice, practice. He has to start somewhere, he wasn’t born a stud and neither were the rest of us. Treat it in a light-hearted manner and even laugh with him about it but not at him. The good thing is that at 25 he should have a pretty short refractory period and this should be good to gomagain after a relatively short period of time, unless anxiety gets to him. Point that out to him by way of explaining that anxiety about it amounts to self-sabotage and therefore should be avoided if possible.
I actually came from a heavy make out session super early on with my now-husband and didn’t tell him until years later because I had been embarrassed. When I finally told him he said something along the lines of “Seriously? That’s so fucking hot.” and I never worried about it again lol. Just tell him you think it’s hot and you love exploring with him.
Edit: Oh! And he was not my first at all. But I was his first everything. And I was the one who came from making out 🤷🏼♀️ could happen to any of us lol.
I would legitimately just make him cum again the next time I saw him with a blow job and I promise he would absolutely forget about this moment lol