some important context prior to reading this story. the girl I have been seeing is incredibly busy and I understand that. she works and goes to school full time. I have much more free time and 1000 times less stress on my shoulders as she does.
so I (20m) have been seeing a girl (21f) since the end of august. and at first I thought that this was going to end in serious relationship but current events have made me nervous, and I need some reassurance and advice on how to continue. so we met at a small party (it was just a neighborhood gathering) and we really hit it off, we eventually planned a date which went great! we hung out every weekend for a month straight after that. at the end of the month I asked her what exactly we were and she replied “well right now we’re just having fun”. this is where I start to get lost. like I mentioned at the top, she’s busy so I understand. but I tried hanging out with her a few times, often not getting a reply at all. then reached out again and was able to figure out a time that worked for both of us. however, the day of she canceled last minute. she said that she couldn’t make the date because she had some important school stuff to do but that she would text me later and let me know what was going on. I then didn’t hear from her for about 6 days. only to get a text from her late at night asking if I wanted to go out the following day. I was free so I agreed and we again had an amazing time. our chemistry together is great, we get along incredibly well, it also helps that I find her to be one of the most beautiful women I’ve ever seen. but now I’m stuck. I feel like maybe she just wants us to be casual, which isn’t really what I want from this. I’m nervous because of the were just having fun thing. I’m unsure of how to continue, I know I need to talk to her about where we stand but I’m nervous I’m going to come off as overbearing. how exactly do I continue in this situation?
5 comments
Just ask her out, like officially.
not “do you wanna hang?” but actually “do you wanna date?”
I don’t think it’s wise for a guy to bring up the topic of “what are we”, especially with a very busy woman. It’s seems too relationship focused. I would focus on hanging out and having fun together. If she wants to be exclusive with you, she will bring it up.
If you aren’t exclusive, you should be seeing other people. Or doing more with your free time.
INFO. When you hang out, are these dates or just like hang outs? Do you both call them dates?
Why are you trying to rush things?
Dude, you’re only 20. Every relationship you start will be casual to start off with. If you push this girl into an exclusive relationship you’ll probably ruin it since she already told you what she wanted. If that’s not for you then you can tell her but I am pretty sure that would end the relationship for you. Since you already brought it up, I would do like others have said and just see how things play out and keep hanging with her. Anything pushy and she’s likely to end it IMO.