I (40M) have a friend (30F) who became my best friend over the course of the last few years. She’s gorgeous. I’m the troll. But I never saw her as available as she’s in a long term committed relationship, and I like her partner very much and consider them both very close, and dear friends. A few months ago they hit a rough spot in their relationship, and she began exhibiting some behavoir some behavoir that leads me to believe she caught feelings for me. And I don’t doubt that at all(the details are to numerous for me to question my assessment of the situation.). But I’m not interested in being the other man. So I have been trying to save the friendship, as it’s very important to me. And unfortunately, my relationship with her is key to a number of other very good things in my life that I truly do not want to lose. But I’m wondering if it’s even possible to save the friendship. She’s become distant over the course of the last few months as I ignore her advances, or reject them as quietly as I can. I know the stereotypical stories of situations like this where opposite sex friendships don’t last because someone catches feelings. And I guess I’m looking for a story or stories where two people were able to work past moments like this and maintain the friendship. Was it ever the same again? Did it eventually die? Did it evolve into romance regardless of the circumstances? I don’t really know how to proceed. But I know that as we grow further apart, I am finding the friendship not nearly as fulfilling as it use to be, and I’m worried that in my attempts to smooth things over, I’ll allow myself to be used, like I have in the past.
Not sure what to do.
TL:DR My best friend and her SO hit a rough patch, and I thinks she’s in love with me, even though I don’t feel the same. What do I do?
1 comment
Are you able to just keep it all neutral. Everytime she goes for a flirt or advance, then you just pretend that she is joking. Also use the “friend” word alot. Like I love our friendship and don’t want to ruin this.