I first want to say i’m not a person who usually has close friends and I am okay with that. It’s my first year in college and I made a ton of friends and we used to hang out every week. However, this semester, those friends began to die off. With one of my friends we stopped hanging out because we don’t have a lot in common which is ok. My other friends live in my dorm, but they slowly wanted to stop hanging out with me and I don’t know why. They always say how nice I am, so I don’t think they’re mad and when I see them they don’t seem upset. I’ve talked to one of them about it but they didn’t seem to have much of a reaction.
It’s so disappointing because now I have to almost completely start over next semester and hope there are people in my sophomore year who are willing to be friends. I’m very shy and it was already hard enough for me to make these. Now I’ll have to befriend people who already know each other. Life feels really lonely right now.
Any advice is appreciated.
Edit: Also we had agreed to live together next semester so now it’s going to be really awkward since we aren’t friends anymore.
4 comments
Don’t sweat it. This is what college life is like. People are busy trying to earn money, make decent grades, and fend off their neurotic parents.
You might collect one or two close friends during the four years you’ll spend at college, but that’s about it.
Hey this happens to me too lol. My advice: learn to be happy with your company and to be a interesting person by your point of view (like doing things you think is cool, not only limiting your life to work+ study). Well, I have 0 friends, a lot of colleagues, I study and work and I feel less lonely than ever due to the fact that I try to be a interesting person to myself (I really love doing martial arts like muay thai and boxing and reading).
That’s a drag. Unfortunately, friendships in college can be very transitory. Hopefully you will meet a group you can form a deeper connection with in your next semester. Perhaps joining a club, intramural sports team, or other on campus activity could broaden your social circle? Good luck, and be kind to yourself. You probably didn’t do anything. People are redefining themselves, and that’s a weird time for everybody.
People also subconsciously attach you to the value you bring. The value you bring is a clear, unique, and convincing reason why people will interact with you, let alone do so constantly. So Find ways to add value to their lives. Having In person interactions is the easiest way to stand out from countless people who text or message. People remember and favor in person interactions because of the positive vibes. If your hobbies, skills, talents align with their interests or can help them, bring it up and offer to help them. Finally, learn how to be genuinely busy in your life pursuing your goals and hobbies, while interacting with people on the side. People are hardwired to be repulsed by neediness and desperation and instead gravitate towards those who are self confident and well rounded in life. They want to see active confirmation of you actually doing something in your life other than just talking to them. So chase excellence, not people.