Out of those 30ish dates I was dated and broke up two people (~25f) within a month each. Is it normal for a guy to go through so many dates in a year and have nothing to show for it?

22 comments

  1. I had 17 dates from the summer until now through hinge 🤷🏻‍♂️

    It’s a numbers game for us men, I don’t see an issue with this. If things don’t work out with one, move right to the other. It’s the best method for us.

  2. It does hint you aren’t particularly good at first dates. Did any of the women give reasons why they didn’t like you or was it always “you’re really nice but……”

  3. From Hinge, in an 8-month span, I went out with like 3-4 women. I had a lot more dates from another dating app. Of course I was very selective on Hinge, passing on 20-60 profiles before liking one. But yes, even being selective and thinking you found someone you think you might be compatible with, but actually it doesn’t go anywhere.

  5. i’ve messaged/liked/sent roses to 20-25 women on hinge with no response. it’s becoming too expensive atp

  6. My track record since, I believe roughly beginning of july is about 0 dates so far, with about 10 matches (2 conversations made it past ~5 messages) and 1 like, from someone who at least looked like and a guy’s name… So yeah, could be better. 30 dates sounds absolutely insane to me, though sorry to you, that none of them really worked out.

  7. Sounds like you got better at dating. Did it change what you want from a partner? Also, would you say your profile is pretty complete/polished? Finally, how long was your longest relationship/dates this year?

  8. This is definitely a lot of dates, but it’s normal to have high standards and to consider many different people before feeling like you’ve met someone great.

    What criteria are you thinking about when asking people out?

    You’re still really young. I would think clearly about the question above and compare it with the reasons why you broke things off with people or didn’t feel like anyone was a match.

    Looking forward to hearing more 🙂

  10. Dunno

    These statistics seem impressive to me

    Maybe it’s a humblebrag post

    Converting 10% of first dates to ‘dating’ status is a high number – remember the average person on here is not getting any likes, matches, let alone actual dates

    From a process perspective it’s about identifying the limiting factors for where things are falling down and not progressing to the desired ongoing state of a stable relationship IMO.

  11. Keep trying, friend. Finding a meaningful connection takes time. Stay positive and learn from each encounter. The right person is out there.

  13. I’m inclined to say it’s normal. These people are strangers. It’s different than how you’d meet someone organically. In everyday life, you’d be brought together by common interest and mutual attraction by step one. Online dating, you could end up having neither of those things but it takes a date to figure that out. Of course the numbers are higher, your pool is way more random online.

  14. Previous times on OLD I had lots of seconds, third dates, etc , was multi-dating different women at different stages and sleeping with some of them.

    This time its just a bunch of first dates, 7 in the last 2 weeks, I was reflecting on what has changed.

    I realised after 6 month relationship that was amazing, I have lifted my standards, so not interested in wasting time and energy unless I am really excited after that first date.

    Its really not difficult if you have low standards to get a girlfriend or find someone that wants to date you. I only have to look around at some of my friends relationships, women who are overweight, not ambitious etc, no thanks not for me.

  15. I consider myself a good looking dude and my numbers are no where near yours, I probably started getting back into dating mid july and have gone on dates with 4 different women from the apps, with the longest relationship lasting a month.

    Im inclined to say after 30 dates with so many different women it most definitely is a you problem.

    Either you’re too picky or you’re putting off a vibe that’s turning off most of those women. Don’t settle but definitely do some introspection

  16. I think you just suck at first dates man…

    First dates can be tough and generate a shit ton of anxiety that makes us act differently and in ways that don’t portray who we really are, super easily. I’ll give you that much.

    But, with 30 dates in a year I feel like you should have far more experience with first dates to where at least 10-12 of them turn into second dates.

    It’s really not that hard to get second dates if you act normal, civil, are a gentleman, and do all the right things so that makes me wonder if you are doing or saying things, consistently, that is turning women off.

    I’m 35 and over the last 5 years or so, I can’t say I’ve ever not made it to at least a 2nd date with easily 400 women. I’m just super picky so most of them end up not being for me.

    The trick is to be charming, charismatic, not sexual, know how to flirt, when to flirt, how to escalate flirting from words to touches and most importantly, knowing how to read women. How to read their body language. What they say. How they say it.

    30 dates is enough dates to figure out what is working and what isn’t. You need to figure out the “what’s not” working part because, as I said… it’s super easy getting second dates if you are a normal ass dude.

  17. Did any progress to a second date beyond those 2? 30+ dates to find a partner isn’t abnormal. When I’m single I probably go on dates with 20-40 new women a year.

  18. You’re doing much better than guys who don’t get matches, chats, or dates. Did you have sex with any of these women?

    Edit: I see that you made out w/ most and fucked two of them. You’re on the right track. Keep swiping & fucking and you’ll find the one – it’s just a numbers game at this point.

  19. You actually do have something to show for it… your taking a chance, your putting yourselves out there, and those 30 dates just wasn’t the one. I been on hinge (on/off) and like you some has been good, bad, possibly, maybes, and hell-no’s lol but I am looking forward for a great love someday and just remember it won’t be easy if you want it to last long.

    Also stay open to new ways of dating, like expanding your filter to a new age, or race…….or minimize your filter if its the opposite. Alls Im saying is don’t quite!

  20. Could it be that you have becoming desensitized . Like you don’t even get excited to be on a first date anymore. You are just like going through the motions and bored out of your mind. Like you are a robot just going on dates with girl after girl. One girl can be replaced with another girl and there is literally nothing special about any of them.

    ​

    You mentioned it seems like girl is trying to disqualify you at any moment. Hahah I am not sure if it count as disqualify but I have went on dates where the guy just spew bullshit and I am like do you think before you speak ? Do you know how ridiculous you sound . I try to give chances but if they can say bullshit once , whats stopping them from saying bullshit twice.

  21. Are you here just to brag about the fact you got 30 dates from Hinge in a single year? You’re doing better than 99% of this subreddit users.

  22. It’s a bit odd if you’re not getting any second dates out of them I’d think or at least girls that want second dates that you’re declining. I think I’ve had about 15 first dates this year, only 1 has led to multiple dates but most of the girls were open to a second date.

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