I’m sorry for the vague title. I wasn’t sure how to summarize my situation, but I’d like to turn this into a learning experience for me as I’m seeking a meaningful relationship rather than just a casual hookup.
So, I(25M) had the chance to meet a really great girl(21F) from America(I’m in Europe so different timezome). Our first online meeting went exceptionally well, and we had a fantastic time. Maybe we rushed into things a bit, but we decided to give dating a shot, essentially going in blind. I didn’t have high expectations, but she was easygoing, and our interests and views aligned, so I thought, “Why not?”
On day 2, we couldn’t chat much because she was busy so, that is fair. Stuff happens. But in the early morning of day 3, I woke up to a text from her at 6 am. Naturally, being quite glad, I quickly replied, not expecting her to really respond since due to the time difference (It was around 12am for her), I had assume that she would be sleeping. As a result, right after sending my text, I go back to sleep.
When I woke up a few hours later, we chatted briefly, but then she stopped responding for a while. She was responding with basically one word and seemingly uninterested in the topic. In hindsight, she was probably upset and I overlooked that. But, I’ll get to this briefly again in a bit. For now though, once she stopped responding to my attempts at getting a conversation going, I simply assumed she really fell asleep this time(3am then for her), and began to hop on my pc to play a game with a friend.
She came back a few hours later, and we resumed our conversation while I was still gaming. Naturally , being quite glad to see her, I begin to talk with her again. However, as I was in a game still, I was responding slowly. A text every 5-10 min. This seemed to upset her, and she found it rude that I had made her wait for three hours earlier (I had went to sleep again in the morning, as mentioned), and she felt I should have told her I was busy(gaming and being slowly… Feels quite reasonable on her side there). As a result of this, she wanted to take a break to reevaluate our relationship and see if I was the right person for her.
Putting myself in her shoes then, I could see how it all could be taken as rude and apologized while acknowledging that my behavior was indeed rude and I would do better from then on, esspecially to not repeat the same mistake. I then expressed my hope that she would give us another chance because we seemed to be getting along well otherwise, but still ultimately acknowledge her desire of needing time to re-evaluate. In response, she asked, seemingly stunned if I even cared if we weren’t together anymore and called me self-centered and apathetic, before deciding to end things.
I’m not deeply hurt by this brief connection, but I’m left feeling confused and frustrated, wondering if I truly was being unreasonable and self centered. I’m asking myself if I was too apathetic in the situation and if I was in the wrong. What can I learn from this experience? Though, I won’t pretend to be a saint in that, if I wasn’t then I’m also seeking for validation because… I am slightly sad and frustrated it ended like this.
I would provide more detail but she basically deleted our entire chat together directly after so I’m running purely on memory.