I am a 39 yo male and just went on a 2nd date with a 49 yo woman. Yes… there is an age gap. I personally never found that to be a big deal. She’s unbelievably attractive. I’ve dated women both younger and older my whole life.
So our first date went extremely well. There was that instant mutual attraction. She was in no rush to leave and in a very playful mood. It felt a little forced to go in for a kiss during that date so I didn’t try. The 2nd date, she showed up wearing something incredibly sexy. Not something you would wear if you had a lukewarm interest in someone. Again… the date went incredibly well. Our conversations flow very naturally, lots of laughing, etc.
During this 2nd date, it was subtle but I tried to move in a bit closer in our booth (we were at a restaurant) to initiate some contact. And she slightly pulled back. I can pick up cues pretty well so I kept my distance without making it awkward. She’s a bit standoffish physically. And then at the end of the date, she clearly turned her head away so we would just hug.
At our age, I just find that very puzzling. I know she’s interested because she asked me if I was free again this week to go on another date. And her text afterwards was to the same effect… she had an amazing time and wanted to see me again soon. She knows for sure I’m interested because I have directly told her how attractive I think she is.
And just to be clear… no, I do not “expect” a kiss or anything physical from a woman. I am just confused why someone would be so avoidant when they are interested? I feel like if I go past 3 dates without having any physical contact besides a quick hug, it starts to feel very awkward. For those who suggest asking if I could kiss her… I have done that plenty of times in the past and was scolded for it. “Don’t ask… just go for it” was virtually the response every time. They were interested, and me asking turned them off. So that’s just something I don’t do any more. I find most women will give you “the look” and you know you’re good to go. If I don’t receive any kind of cues like that, I don’t go for it.
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4 comments
Try one more date maybe at most. If still nothing just move on.
Be patient and instead of going in for a kiss you could offer a cheeck and ask for kiss on the cheek
Someone women just don’t feel comfortable with physical affection until they’ve been on several dates or know someone fairly well. Go on a couple more dates and see if she opens up at all.
To me it’s perfectly acceptable to not kiss for many many dates. I mean it takes a while to get to really know someone so why give yourself to them so early even if it just a kiss.