I (25F) am a bit paranoid when it comes to stds and always want my sexual partners tested before we do the deed. I’m seeing someone new and we got a bit intimate recently but not all the way. If I ask him to get tested and tell him I am going to get tested too, is it a turn off or offensive?

31 comments

  1. No, its called being responsible, I would think more of them if they did this

    Anyone who objects shouldn’t be worth pursuing

  2. It would be a positive for me, especially if she is on some contraception and it means we can go raw

  6. No, but if you really wanted to be safe you’d wait 3 or more months before accepting a test.

    Some diseases don’t show up on tests right away.

  8. Honestly if a guy ever got offensive about that… red flag. What you’re asking for is being a responsible person

  9. Why not if you’re clean it won’t matter and then you can have fun without worrying

  10. No, why? You’re a new partner for him
    He’s a new partner for you.
    If you’re planning to have sex, the **responsible, adult thing to do,** is to get tested. Both of you.
    And no unprotected sex without the test results.

    I started dating my wife when we were both 22, and we both got tested shortly after initiating sexual activity.
    Neither of us felt offended.

  11. Nope i had a handful of women ask i get tested before intimacy.

    Didn’t bother me, they’re just being smart and safe imo. If anything i think it might be a positive? If they’re asking that then i usually assume they’re safe in the past

  14. Not at all. I remember with my first ex, they were doing free testing @ uni…I was like “yo! I just got tested, we’re both clear” & she thought I was calling her a slut

    Completely blindsided by that reaction lmao. Guys don’t think that way

  19. That shows me that the only crabs you desire are at the ocean or on your plate. I would respect that.

  20. A dude I asked to get tested got offended that I was “treating him like he had hiv”. I told him if he was ever gotten tested in his life. He said no. He was 33, had an active sex life since 10 years and he was never even tested ONCE. Walk the fuck away from these types.

  21. Anything can offend certain people. Your body, your rules.

    Each of us is entitled to have our own mate selection screening process and *must haves list*.

    Each of us is entitled to have our own “red flags”, boundaries, and “deal breakers”.

    If someone believes *you* are worth the effort, *they* will make the effort.

    If the guy is offended and refuses to get tested it just means he’s *not* the one for you.

    Another consideration is to never have unprotected sex without a test to minimize risk.

    When you realize someone is *unable/unwilling* to meet your needs it’s usually best to move on.

    ***”Dating is primarily a numbers game…. People usually go through a lot of people to find good relationships. That’s just the way it is.***” – Henry Cloud

    Best wishes!

  22. It’s this simple: it depends on how you approach him with it.

    *Pour example*, if you approached with anything lien the attitude most of the clowns on here are recommending, it will go badly.

    If you’re more respectful about it as opposed to the scorn Redditors are instructing you to heap on him, it will be fine.

  23. if someone is offended abt getting tested, they’re not mature enough to be in a sexual relationship and i’d personally feel like they have something they’re hiding

  24. Nah, it’s offensive as hell.

    If you respect me enough to date and have sex with me, then you should know that I live like a responsible adult. Assuming that I don’t by asking me to get tested is highly offensive.

    No one in actual irl dating world asks for this. You should be practicing safe sex anyway. So, what’s the point of asking?

    The reason why Reddit is so supportive of this is because people on Reddit actually never had relationships before and can only date their anime body pillows and have not touched a woman/man since they were in preschool.

  25. Fuck no, I really appreciate it- usually I’ve been the one who’s brought it up in the majority of past relationships. But it’s good to see a potential partner is being responsible and up front about their health.

  27. Doesnt matter if they get offended. If they do, theyre a loser. You want to be safe, you are the only person who can protect yourself. Always ask beforehand if you need it to be safe and comfortable. I’ve always asked!

  29. Not at all

    Everyone should get tested regularly if they are actively sleeping with other people.

  30. I’ve had a few girls do this and i never had a problem with it. Gives me a good incentive to get tested which is always good, plus then we both know we don’t have to wear a condom which is great and its just good old fashioned anxiety free sex knowing STD’s aren’t part of the equation.

    Any dude who has a problem with it is probably a red flag.

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