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When “we” were making an effort to fix thing, but he had an active Tinder profile :/
Not mentioning what he did to make me feel the way I did….I realised it was over when I had completely switched off, and whatever he said or did made no difference to how I felt. I knew I wasn’t coming back.
When I realized I was in love with his potential and who he could be. Sadly his actions didn’t follow his words and I couldn’t do it anymore. 14 years we were together.
He used to say “I can’t do this anymore” all the time when things didn’t go his way. One day I told him how awful that made me feel. Lots of backstory and some infidelity but basically, the next time he told me that I told him I couldn’t do it any more either. And that was the beginning of the end. I think we both kind of gave up trying.
We’re still working through the process.
It sucks. He’s a wonderful guy in many ways. And a fantastic dad. <insert me choking up here>
A nurse in the hospital said to me, “I think you’re afraid of him. We can ban him from coming to the hospital…” It sounded so nice. I immediately started crying and nodding. She brought me some printed material from the local women’s shelter, and one page was labeled “Abuse Checklist.” There was a short paragraph that I skipped, then a list of ~20 hallmarks of abuse, I got to the end of the list and felt weird because I only found 18 out of 20, so I must not be being abused. Then I went back and read the paragraph I had skipped, and it said, “If any one of these is happening to you, you are being abused.” I knew right then I would never go back home.
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I turned him down and he asked me: “What do you even do for me? What do you do for our child?” I listed everything, I don’t even remember his response. I remember the way he asked me, the way he couldn’t see how hard I was working for our family, and it broke me. It’s been over a year and it still makes me so angry. I always felt like no matter what, I wasn’t doing enough.
When I found evidence of his cheating, he was mad at me for “not trusting him”
Whenever he kept finding jobs that required him to be away from the house during the day or for long periods at a time.
He was active duty military whenever we got married and once he got out he found an overnight job where I didn’t see him, then worked on the railroad where I didn’t see him, did private contracting overseas, and the final straw was getting an overnight road construction job across the country.
When I texted him “I love you.” and he didn’t respond with “Ditto”, which is something we said to each other our entire relationship whenever one of us said I Love You.
Moving in his new life partner was really the kicker that sealed it though.
It’s still fresh (only about 6 weeks old for the actual divorce, almost a year for the end of the relationship though) and it’s…weird because he has clearly moved on and I’m still in love with him as much as I ever was.
I keep hoping, if I’m patient enough, he’ll come to his senses and realize that it’s a huge mistake to throw away an almost 30 year relationship like ours.
My ex husband begged me to stay with him after cheating. I went through some therapy and decided to try to work through it. He told me that if I ever cheated on him he would leave me. I was done as soon as the sentence left his mouth.