Women, in your personal experience, what are things that make dating easier for you? What makes dating harder?

21 comments

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2. My simple personality.

   I’m very impatient and rather tactless, these are bad traits of mine but it makes love so much more simple. And for me, simple means easy.

   It makes anxiety become nonexistent because I act before I even got the time to get worried.

   Whatever I want, I say it. I want compliment? “Tell me I’m cute now”. I want attention? “I’m feeling needy, let’s spend time.”

   There is no mind game because my mind is blank when it comes to love.

   For the record, this also makes extremely vulnerable. When you say how you truly feel without thinking it out, you’re setting yourself up for heartbreak. BUT you’re saving yourself a lot of time too. The faster I get rejected, the faster I move on, no wondering, no “what if”. I got myself a lovely person so I don’t have to care about being mindless with love anymore.

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4. Easier – being attractive, being funny, being intelligent, having interesting hobbies.

   Harder – having a high paying job and being a mom (this one is always the killer).

   I could be the most understanding, catering, and caring woman but as soon as I mention I’m a mom it’s a no go.

5. This is super toxic of me but I treat first dates like a challenge. I dress how I imagine he’d want me to dress, I amp up whichever side of my personality I think he’d like, and I ask tons of questions and try to be really cheerful and peppy, and a little bit flirtatious. Even if I’m not digging the guy, I try to make sure he has a good time. I take charge if there are moments of quiet and I try to seem as likeable as possible. I’ve never not been asked for a 2nd date, but I can usually figure out whether I like that person or not in that first date and its pretty rare I want to see them a 2nd time.

   The occasional 2nd date is when I show more of my true personality/style/humor etc and I have way less success lmao.

   But the right person will be right for you even if your dating technique isnt great. There’s no reason dating should be ‘easier’. Getting more male interest actually makes finding ‘the one’ harder, more bodies to sift through.

6. I am hot, young and rich.

   This makes it easy to get men or women to date me, but difficult to find someone who genuinely likes me. Most people just want to have sex with me or for my money. I always double guess if someone is genuinely interested or acting/lying.

   Fortunately my husband is wonderful

7. Nothing about me physically gives me an advantage in that arena. I’d say being very introverted makes it tougher. I also have a small list of things I’m not willing to bend on. For me those things are being very left, a feminist, compassionate, and willing to build castles with me in Minecraft.

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9. It’s been a long time since I dated someone, but when I did, the hardest part for me was dealing with mind games and mixed signals. My anxiety would kick in, and intrusive thoughts about this person started blowing up my mind. I truly hate it, and only a person who also suffers from intrusive thoughts can understand how uncomfortable it can be.

   The easiest part was, to be honest, I don’t know. It felt like everything was extremely difficult for me. I’ve never had many gentlemen callers pounding down my door, and I was way too insecure to approach a guy I liked myself.

10. I don’t think ANYTHING makes dating easier for me personally! Dating is just a near impossible task for me. I’m nearly certain that I could be alive between now and the end of my life and never ever land a date ever again. All my life, I never did date much and it wasn’t that I didn’t like anyone but finding someone who wanted to date was just near impossible. I had one boyfriend in my early 20s that I asked out and another in my late 20s who asked me out. Apart from those two I’ve rarely been asked out nor approached. I’ve approached and asked but not much luck. Now in today’s world where ghosting is the norm, even if I met someone who did want to go out, it never really pans out.

    But I have friends who simply exist and are asked out by lots of men daily. And yeah admittedly a lot of them are taller and skinnier so I often wonder if it’s because I’m shorter with big boobs that’s the issue. It’s not considered an attractive body type where I am.

    At the end of the day, I think it’s just a magical thing; some people can land dates daily and date a different person whilst others like me will spend eternity never ever meeting anyone interested.

    Now that I’m older, I’m finding that what interests me in a guy is intelligence. I genuinely like someone who can hold a conversation and treats people with respect. I don’t necessarily think I’m ugly but I don’t think I have much to offer anymore. Age is against me. Whilst I’m in great shape and I am financially independent, I feel as if those aren’t great factors for men these days. I honestly think good looks are important as most men I know, even very intelligent ones, gravitate towards good looking women even if they’re not very bright.

    Sometimes, I think maybe if I were taller, skinnier, younger, dating would be a bit easier!

    I work in finance and I know a lot of men who have their shit together. What I notice is that smart, funny and confident men (the type I like) who are successful tend to gravitate towards very attractive women and then intelligence may play a part.

    I Have had female friends tell me my issue is that I friendzone guys easily; meaning because I’m friendly, talkative and approachable, I’m not dateable. I get where they’re coming from and honestly don’t know how to “be” dateable! I met someone visiting from NYC recently and all she did was sit at a bar in Sydney in a packed room and men just asked her out.

    As I get older and comfortable in my routine, I’ve stopped thinking so much about dating but more about what makes me happy so I just do that. Indulging my hobbies and focusing on my fitness and mental health is something that occupies me most of the time these days.

11. I was never able to date anyone because of my appearance. I had tons of men praise me for my humour and self-distance, my hobbies, and for how easy I was to be around and talk to, but they also explicitly let me know that they weren’t interested in me because I wasn’t attractive.

    So: Being ugly makes it harder, and while having a decent personality isn’t a con, it’s only ever an advantage if you’re also at least average-looking.

12. Being playful, able to hold conversation, having a sense of humor and being a tall lady has always worked in my favor 😁

13. Easier – Being a demographic that has statistically shown to be the most desired.

    Harder – Being a demographic that has statistically shown to be the most desired.

    Honestly, it’s the biggest advantage and disadvantage. It’s a double-edged sword. It requires a lot more awareness of who I attract and signs/tells to be on the lookout for.

    Also easier/harder is being financially independent. I live in a high COL area so a lot of higher earners and a LOT of men think that being a high earner = a pass to be a total jerk. Being a high earner myself, I don’t have to put up with jackass behavior but it also sometimes intimidates some men to learn that I make more than they do.

14. Easier: Being attractive, funny, smart, adventurous and pretty easy going

    Harder: Being tall (5’9) a single mom, some don’t understand the time it still takes (she’s 15) and being career driven, imho men don’t like taller more successful women. Still looking for one who’s secure enough

15. For me, I’d like to build up a friendship first before a relationship. So I prefer to have deep talk and get to know the person’s opinions on many aspects in life. With this being said, instant flirting is a turnoff to me. I just can’t understand how someone can just flirt with people they don’t really know much about. Like “I wish I could hold your hand”, “maybe you could be my the one”… Dude, we just know each other for 5 mins. Also, I definitely would fall for someone who tries to learn my problems and find a way to help me (without me even asking). I fell for my ex that way. He was being so caring instead of just saying those flirtatious empty words.

16. As an over thinker, taking things at face value helped me tremendously with finding someone who was compatible with me. There are definitely situations where things aren’t so black and white but if you’re not communicating, I’m just going to make an assumption based on the info I currently have. You seem interested some days and not interested other days? Not into me. I’m not going to think you’re just busy or anything of the sort

17. Ask me questions. Show interest in me.

18. I feel I am somewhat attractive/good smile and I’m quite extroverted and can read people well. I feel like having a good job at a young age is a double edged sword, I’ve attracted some men who want me to foot the bill for everything. I want someone similar in status but at 24 it’s been hard to find, hopefully it will get easier lol. I will say being highly independent is also tricky, I don’t want to be a maid/personal chef who is also going 50/50 on everything, I need a man who is capable of cleaning up after himself and doesn’t need his hand held in basic adult things.

19. With men, it’s usually because I like to do stereotypically “boy” activities like surfing, skating, sport in general. I also don’t take long to get ready ,don’t have fake anything (nails, lashes, face etc) , which is usually praised. I’m also not particularly self conscious or insecure and I ask a lot of questions about the people I date. To women, I am vulnerable and honest and funny. All things are true in both cases but these are the things that tend to be focused on. I also have really nice boobs.

    Harder.. I’m shy around women cause it’s hard to know if they are also into women. With men, I’ve had some say I’m “talking too deeply” or whatever cause they don’t know how to have a real conversation.

20. Easier – I’ve mostly dated online where it’s easier to maintain a persona that’s much more vibrant than my real self. I can be supremely confident, flirtatious, witty and fun on the first few dates. I am moderately attractive.

    Harder – I stay with strict parents in a fairly conservative country. I am going through clinical depression and cancer survivorship in life while switching career paths as a result of which I can’t project a confident, lively facade for too long. My depressive episodes or shit in life become overwhelming and I become commitment phobic and reduce contact with men.

21. Easier – being born with a penis.

    Harder – being born with a penis.

    Like, finding hook ups is so easy. Finding a relationship is almost impossible.