I’ve been thinking about how and why eyecontact makes me so uncomfortable, and wanted to figure out if this was normal so that’s my question:
How do you feel holding eye contact with someone?
For me it feels super intimate, uncomfortably so, like they can see right through my eyes and read all my thoughts, feelings and secrets.
But in turn, to me, someone’s eyes are just eyes, they don’t tell me anything.
29 comments
Depends who it is, if its with a girl i like its the best thing i can ask for. If its a random dude then idk i dont mind holding it
I’m exactly the same. Also I’m pretty much pathologically shy.
>For me it feels super intimate, uncomfortably so, like they can see right through my eyes and read all my thoughts, feelings and secrets.
It really does feel way too intimate, there really is no better description than that, for me. Like whatever is being said is totally drowned out by the eye contact; I’m just hyper-aware of it and I’m worried that the other person is picking up on that and that my hyper-awareness is making the situation weird for both of us, it has just become all about the intimacy of the eye contact.
This is my experience. So I just make occasional quick eye contact glances then look somewhere else 🤷
If a girl make eye contact on me, I like it a lot and I start thinking that maybe she finds me atractive. But if she hold it and me too, I feel really embarrased, I want to stay holding the eye contact but I can’t, I think that she’s going to think that I’m weird or that I like her (probably right) and even when I really want her to know it, I can’t be confident and I stop seeing her.
To sum up, I get a boost of confidence with a small eye contact but I feel I’m not enough with longer eye contact.
If the person is talking to me and im interested and listening genuinely i can do that. But if someone is speaking right beside me and nothing to do with me, naaah.
There are tips for eye contacts but I usually don’t look in a person “eyes” focus on something else that looks like you making eye contact
I like eye contact. I think your wrong, you can see everything through the eyes. I used to never make eye contact because it made me uncomfortable also but I just started doing it and now I need to force myself to break it every once in a while so I don’t seem creepy lol
If it’s a girl I like, I’m all for eye contact. My issue is it feels awkward when anybody else like family makes eye contact. I always felt shy when I make eye contact in regular conversations with parents or other family members and I don’t know why.
I am very uncomfortable with eye contact because it feels like I’m looking straight into your soul and I just feel like I don’t need to be seeing all that. it’s almost as if I’m overstepping boundaries and seeing you naked but you don’t even know it.
You ever get evaluated for autism? This alone isn’t enough to diagnose, but it’s super duper common for autistic people to get nothing out of eye contact except for discomfort.
If you’ve got other signs, it might be worth investigating
It’s awkward AF.
I used to hate it, now I stare deep into peoples souls. It wasn’t easy to start not caring but if you just start by pretending to be confident (fake it till you make it) you will see how different people treat you and eventually you will no longer be pretending and then on a random day you’ll even remember how you used to be nervous/anxious. It is a long road though I won’t lie. You have to understand as I had to that being around nervous or anxious people can be a bit annoying because they bring down the vibe and make people uncomfortable as I also did when I was younger. I know you can do it! But it all starts with no longer giving a fuck about what other people think. If people don’t want to give you the respect you feel you deserve then what you do is you take it by force, you give them no option but to respect you.
That was just my experience of how I changed, it might not be for you but I really think it would help you if you give it a try, there will be some speed bumps along the way but eventually you’ll look back and wonder how you ever lived like that before. Devine nonchalance is the way to go, who gives a fuck what people think, if people don’t like you when you are being yourself then FUCK’em!
connected to them
For some reason there are times when I can’t even do it.
Nothing because I always hold eye contact.
[removed]
I find it is a form of respect to hold eye contact I’m acknowledging you and fully engaged in whatever might be happening but it really depends on the situation xD I had to really train myself to hold eye contact because I am mega introverted
My thing is that I have about 3 brain cells, and if 2 of them are being used to consciously hold eye contact, the other 1 is working overtime to say anything of note.
Only do it once or rarely or they’ll take it the wrong way
I used to hate it but I don’t feel uncomfortable anymore. I’ve been forcing myself to make long eye contact for a while now and it’s really helped.
It is difficult finding the balance between seeming like I’m listening and staring. I feel like I get it wrong most of the time.
I noticed i can look in anyone s eyes with ease except crush, and i started to purposely shifting in most cases cause dont want people to find me weird
Definitely the same for me. All I can comfortably do is a quick glance, lol
It feels very intimate for me as well
It turns off my brain. I can’t really listen and understand what they’re saying if I have to maintain eye contact.
Don’t like it, makes me feel naked and dumb
I’m autistic so I’m never comfortable with eye contact. Physically, my heart starts to race and my breath quickens. Sometimes I get a tingling sensation all over my body if the eye contact is particularly intense. Mentally, I can no longer focus on what the person is saying, all my energy and attention goes towards maintaining eye contact and trying to do it “right”.
It’s too intimate. Often times it pulls me out of my “floating consciousness”, to shit I am a real person and this person is looking at me, and I am looking at them, and we’re in a room together, damn I forgot to pay attention to what they were saying.
Like I have something on face they are looking at
Eye contact helps me understand the person im talking to better. But I especially loveeee holding eye contact with my partner – there’s just something so intimate when I do it with them!!
it makes me lose focus…and I feel like I am staring at the people and making them uncomfortable..
I have a question if I begin to hold eye contact with people what would I come off as?