Keeping it online until you meet in person.

24 comments

1. I should do a phone call. I usually flirt for a 5-10 lines and then ask to meet up. I hate texting ppl I don’t know

2. Ive done a few video chats before meeting. I usually text or do a phone call.

   I’ve talked to a a very small number (under 1%) of women who wouldn’t give their number until meeting. Just sign up for a burner number.

3. Yeah this is what I do. I only exchange numbers until after the first date and if I want a second date because only after I’ve established trust can I be sure the number won’t be passed to third parties.

4. I’m not on dating apps right now but..

   I don’t usually like to stay on the app, the convo gets deleted from there if you unmatch each other so 🤷

   I have an app that gives me a fake # for texting and calling. I keep that for anyone I don’t want knowing my real # 💯

5. I go for the IRL date within 48 hours almost every time. Only time i like video chat, is when it’s longer distance or they are busy and it gets difficult to plan. I actually like video chat dates in general though, i just would rather meet in person.

6. yup. He much do a variation of that. Sometimes maybe FaceTime resume but that requires exchanging phone numbers or personal information.

   i’ll text in the apps DM‘s, exchange contacts at some point, do A virtual date and eventually meet in person.

   I mean, I’m still single and all, but that’s just what I do, in between being single.

   Listen, don’t take any advice for me

7. I usually share my number before the date or just stay on the app itself depending on how the conversation is going. If I see little chemistry and am essentially doing drinks to just test the waters for a match, I keep it on the app. If we are vibing well, I’ll share my phone number.

8. I’ve done both keeping it online for a while and meeting almost the same day we started to chat online (precovid).

   Moving forward I’d probably try a video / facetime chat beforehand just to cut down on people who think I “might be more attractive” in person. I don’t drive so taking a couple buses just to have lukewarm conversation with someone who decided 10 seconds into seeing my 3d representation isn’t it or they hate my voice is what really drains me with online dating.

   Texting et all doesn’t tell me much unless the guy is absolutely over the line NOT IT for me and there’s been people I haven’t had to video chat with before that I’ve shut down based on their behavior over text/a phone call. So I’m open to phone calls in this post-covid landscape however just one with a set time limit.

   Edit: I’ll give anyone my number, it’s not tied to anything at all and not searchable and easy to block you on it.

9. I usually ask for a date on the app if the convo is going well, and if they’re up for it I give my number (frequently they will give theirs if they want to meet up, after I have asked). Usually text a bit more before the date, but I definitely prefer when the date isn’t too long after scheduling it. It feels awkward to me not knowing how much to try to keep the texting going when the date is set but it’s still almost a week away.

10. No. I won’t meet in person until I’ve got their phone number, we’ve texted and had a phone call.

11. If interested, i like to move from the app. I give my number and have a phone call and then meet if we hit it off.

12. No. I give my number after the first day of chatting if I’m interested. I’ll do phone calls but absolutely no video calls. I wouldn’t be interested in a guy who wouldn’t provide his number until we met (I’ve never encountered that).

13. Yeah, my preference is not to exchange numbers until we’ve had a successful date in person. Most men are fine with this.

    I don’t always do a video date first, but it can be a good idea if you don’t live near each other or if you aren’t sure if you have much in common (or if you can’t tell what they look like in their photos).

14. I hate phone/video calls. I’ll communicate on the app for a bit depending on message frequency, then ask for her real number to text and set up a meet.

15. I never go out on a date before getting their number, apps are so flaky, can’t rely on them (when I was on OLD , currently OLD free )

16. I never get their number or video chat before meeting. If the first date goes well I’ll ask for their number after that.

17. I never have given out my number before meeting in person.

    Except TODAY. It’s wild I have had the best convo ever with this guy and decided what the heck. Date planned for the weekend so there’s still lots of time for everything to come crashing down. YOLO

18. i’d rather meet in person harder to pick up on queues w online dating

19. I keep talking online through text. I don’t do phone calls or video calls, though I might make an exception if we can’t meet for ages due to things like distance, lockdowns etc. I’m happy to meet pretty quickly if it feels right, e.g. I’ve met people within one day of matching and chatting. But I’ve also sometimes chatted to people for quite a while before meeting up.

    I prefer to exchange numbers only after meeting in person and ascertaining we want to see each other again, but have occasionally made exceptions to exchange numbers before the first date.

20. Thanks everyone!

21. See, I’m torn. I normally love moving off of apps ASAP & have given my number out before a first date. But I had a woman give me her number over the weekend through an app, but the convo was stale & mostly one-sided. Idk if it’d benefit me/her/us if I texted her and maybe she’d open up more???

    In fact, quite a few of my matches with women have been and I’m carrying the entire convo, which is daunting and depressing as of lately. 😔

    I don’t want a penpal. I want to meet and feel things out.

22. Usually I take the conversation off the app before setting up the date, as exchanging numbers ups the chances of the date actually happening. (Having someone’s number increases their buy-in.) I also only keep my profile up for a few weeks, so exchanging numbers might be necessary, depending on the timing.

    I don’t do video chats.

23. Taking a break from OLD for now, but—yeah, I keep it online, on the app, until meeting in person.

    I’ve tried phone calls prior to meeting, but didn’t enjoy that. (It reminded me of interviewing for a job over the phone during the first months of COVID—I hated not being able to read the nonverbals, and not being able to tell if it was going well or not—how the things I was saying were landing.)

    I haven’t tried video calls—I hate these in general. You get some nonverbals but they’re distorted—you can’t tell if there’s eye contact, the response is laggy, sometimes the camera’s at a weird angle, sometimes the lighting or a poor connection messes with the whole thing. Not using this for dating, sorry—it’s already challenging enough without this weirdness.

    Honestly, I’d rather just cut to the chase and meet in person. Texting a little on the app is just supposed to be enough of an introduction to get us to that point.

24. The only time I received a phone number before the actual date it was a scammer