There was this girl (28F) who I (27F) used to be friends with and she and I have completely opposite communication styles. I have confronted her about it a few times because it really hurt my feelings. But she breaks down to tears every time I try to communicate my feelings and issues I may have with her. And the proceeds to completely ghost me and avoid me in any means possible. She avoids people she has problems with because it triggers her and she doesn’t want say anything wrong so she needs to avoid the person for a long time before making a decision. But I’ve never seen her follow up after avoiding someone for so long, they usually just disappear. It makes me furious because I feel like how are we supposed to fix things when I can’t even communicate my genuine feelings but I want to hear what other people have to say about this

4 comments
  1. My (male) best friend (male) did this to me because I came out as Bi. It has been 5 years of no communication. I have tried to reach out several times because like you I wanted to discuss what his issue was. We live in a small town and our paths cross from time to time and he completely avoids me. It was very hurtful and maddening for a few years. There was no closure and probably never will be. I have since moved on into better friendships. What I did do was research why people do this. I have read numerous articles and even made a Reddit post discussing my situation. I have several theories I routinely question. Honestly, now I’m glad we are not friends anymore because looking back on it he was really kinda of a shitty friend. It bothers me more that he treats me like I never existed than the loss of the friendship. Obviously other people recognize this as I commonly hear from mutual friends when his name comes up how good of a guy he is 🙄. They don’t know him like I do.

  2. I don’t know if it’s the same but in case it can help : I used to be like this with a friend because this “argument” was reminding me of traumatic events. I didn’t ghost him but I couldn’t face/confront him and speak clearly about it, so I ignored him and it took me time to dare speaking and it was really hard. Good luck!

  3. No advice but my ex would just completely shut down if she was upset and refuse to talk or make eye contact. It was upsetting because I wanted to help her feel better but she wouldn’t tell me what was wrong. I guess it’s just a coping mechanism some people have, but it does make communication very difficult. She ended up cheating on me.

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