How early in a relationship would you want your partner to tell you if they don’t want kids?

23 comments

1. Long before we are in a relationship.

   I would ask that on the first date if not before because being incompatible about having children is a huge incompatibility, and I’m not interested in wasting anyone’s time. I always disclosed my childfree status as soon as possible and well before agreeing to a relationship with that person.

2. I would mention my childfreeness on the first date, and I would also 100% expect my date to be honest and comfortable with his decisions on it too. If he freaks out over discussing a huge non-negotiable incompatibility on a first date because he thinks that means I want to move in together tomorrow, then that’s a bullet dodged anyway.

   Holding off on talking about whether you want children or not until you’re *in a relationship* and call them a partner is absolute insanity to me.

3. Like first 3 dates frankly. I’m a bit older so I’m not wasting time

4. Ehh? I didn’t want kids before I had them

   If my current relationship ever ended, well I have kids so that’s going to come up

5. Before it starts lol

6. On their dating app profile, preferably. First date at the latest.

7. Pretty early in the relationship. Some people base their whole relationships on that. I mean I don’t but lots of people get offended when you say you do or dont want kids. Just make sure to mention your thoughts on it

8. ASAP, so we can toast over our agreement.

9. [removed]

10. Dates 1-4 preferably, right near the beginning. Don’t wanna waste my time.

11. I’m in my 30’s and so are the men I date so the discussion of children (whether we have or want them) comes up pretty quickly.

12. Immediately, before it even becomes a relationship

13. This was a first date topic for me as it was incredibly important to me. So very early, before we’re even in a relationship honestly.

14. Before the first day or by the first date. If we don’t have the same life goals that’s fine. But why waste each others time?

15. Since I’m childfree myself: First date or even before that.

16. Upon initial interaction

17. That’s a discussion I need to have before I can even consider them as a partner.

18. I said it from day one, it’s the right thing to do.

19. First date. Not gonna waste a minute with anyone who doesn’t align on that.

20. Before the 1st date. Men who don’t want children have always been a deal breaker.

21. Woof good answers in this thread. I would want to know ASAP. I always got childfree vibes from my partner, he sent a Reddit screenshot early on that included the top of a post from r / childfree but we never outright discussed it until about 3-4 months in lol. Honestly I could go either way on kids but I definitely lean more towards childfree. I always wanted kids up until the last couple of years and now I’m like… I’m too poor and have too many bad quality and the world is too shit, I don’t want to bring a kid into this mess.

22. Immediately, or the relationship is dead before it even starts.

    Kids are a hard no for me.

23. Within the first few dates. It is absolutely a deal breaker for a lot of people. My current partner and I discussed it early on and multiple times since as well. His stance was he would like to have his own child, but his life is complete with just me in it. I was on the fence and we will be long distance for some time so no more kids.