When I talk to literally anyone I always have awkward moments or get scared of those moments because I always scramble to think about what to say next. Some people have funny or whitty responses so fast and I just don’t understand how it’s even possible. It’s a big part as to why I don’t go out or can’t connect with people. Is this something you need to just do and get used to or something your kinda born having? I just turned 23 and I’m not sure if I can really make such a big change in myself..
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That’s because extroverted people understand that WHAT they say doesn’t matter as much as HOW they say it. And they’re already very comfortable with “how” they’re saying things, so the “what” can be literally anything that pops into their head (with a very brief filter to make sure it isn’t anything hugely inappropriate or offensive).
Two-thirds of the time I have no idea what I’m going to say next. Often the occasion makes what to say clear like when I walked past a pair of women carrying a massive bundle of flowers. Guess what I said. “That’s a massive bundle of flowers!” Easy-peasy.
Humor is a frame of mind. Wit is sometimes a talent, more often a skill. All skills can be developed. Twenty-three is very young. Start developing your wit now. Read more books, especially good literature. It has to be reading because reading creates a personal relationship w the material. Movies and TV are like having a fling, which is to say they rarely get very deep.
I aint gonna lie, not really.
The trick is not caring that much.
And the other trick is just having a lot of experience to draw from. Not necessarily IRL experience.
Id really recommend books. Such a good way to just come around all sort of experiences. And it is in certain way already curated info, authors prolly spend a lot of time thinking of a good natural response and you can just come and take it to use in a sec without thinking.
A lot of the ‘on the spot’ witty comments arent really created in that few seconds. It is just stored somewhere in our memory and we just tweak it a bit to fit the situation. All naturally, which is why I said you need a lot of experience to fill up that databank.