I’m a very unhappy person. Over the past few years I’ve come to realize that I have no value. Everything that I thought I was good at, my friends are all better. I’m pathetic, worthless, I literally have nothing I’m good at. My friends joke all the time about how I’m the worst at everything and even stuff I put more time into I’m worse at.
I am extremely unhappy with this, but I can’t argue any of it. I often lash out in self hate and yell at myself and belittle myself. It’s starting to affect me socially. I don’t know how to stop because I’m so terrible at everything it’s like why can’t I just say the truth. I don’t know how to fix this problem
6 comments
First understand that you ARE capable of learning. If you believe that then , go and learn a skill. A specific skill…. One that you would like to be an expert at. For example , I wanted you to be a welder when I was a kid. I started hanging out at a friend’s house that had a garage and his dad was a welder. I then began to ask his dad is there was any work I could be taught and I’ll work for free. He then loved the idea and there it went. So , do some introspection then go to work at it. Be a painter, a mechanic on cars , a brick layer, go to jujitsu and become good at martial arts… the list is endless but it all begins by you taking control of your own life! This is the way.
Drop those “friends”, they sound like assholes that are reinforcing your negative beliefs about yourself. That makes it harder on you to both grow and to actually feel good about yourself when you do accomplish things.
Comparison is the thief of joy. We can’t keep comparing ourselves to others.
Focus on progress instead of “change”. Imagine you are building a house. Each day you show up at the job site. It’s a mess, there’s no way anyone could live there. So what? No one cares. What they care about is that there’s more there at the end of the day than at the start. If something is wrong and needs to be ripped out and redone, that’s a problem. But you address it, fix it, move on. As long as there is progress that’s a success. Yes everyone wants to have it done. But no reasonable person allows the comparison between the plan and the reality to trip them up. Because they recognize that this is new. It’s growth from something that wasn’t to something that will be. Not a criticism of a completed project.
Nooooo don’t let your “friends” belittle you!!! MOST people are not “good” at anything. Honestly. Also life is a journey not a destination. Get a journal and try to think about the times you are happiest, or at least content. Try to list them. Then choose one and focus on how you can add more of that to your life. Even something as simple as a TV show that you like to watch or a food you like to eat. Once you get used to focusing on the good parts of life it gets easier and easier to see them.
IDK your age, but you should change environment. Move to another town, make new friends, new job, etc…kinda like a fresh start. This might help you look at life in a different way. A fresh start!