To start, I would like to say this is my first time posting on reddit about my relationship so please go easy on me.
I (21f) am not a priority in my (22m) boyfriend’s life. Just for a quick background, my boyfriend and I have been in a relationship for about 2 and a half years now, with all of that being long distance due to him being in the military. He since has came home from finishing his time in the military and has been home for about 2 weeks now. During these two weeks, he’s proved to me that i’m not the high on his priority list at all.
For extra context, he was stationed 10 hours away, & would visit home often and vise versa. When we weren’t visiting each other, we’d be on facetime at the end of our days just to unwind and actually be able to spend some time together.
Now that he is back home in person, we don’t spent as much time together as I’d like. I’m a nursing student, so i know how busy life can get, but all he does is lay at home sleep, smoke weed, and do shrooms with his friends. I have abandonment issues from my childhood so when he’s high, off of whatever he’s smoking, this triggers me and makes me feel like i’m that 10 year old again being abandoned by my drug addict mother.
He also has a best friend who encourages this behavior (he did not previously do drugs while in the military) & it irritates me to see them hanging out everyday. He told me that he likes his space, but is with his best friend smoking everyday. Even the few days out of the week we do see each other, he still manages to fit some time in there for his best friend. I can respect the fact that he wants his space, but just communicating that so I’m not feeling abandoned.
What should I do? I dont want to make it seem like im controlling him, but i truly dont think it’s going to work out if he keeps on with the drugs. I hate feeling alone and abandoned in my relationship.
Thanks for reading.
Tl;dr my boyfriend makes me feel lonely even in a relationship.
2 comments
You need to be on like 3 or 4 forms of birth control while you get this figured out. Do not have kids with a drug addict. He may be a crappy boyfriend due to smoking weed all the time, but he will be a much crappier father. He probably views it as not a big deal as it is just weed. Don’t repeat the cycle.
You clearly seem to have more prospects than him, nursing is a great career and you are bound to make a good living for yourself.
Don’t ever get pregnant for him and start looking for an exit strategy…I’m 28 and I’m telling you this now, you will gag at the thought of being with him in a few years. He sounds like a liability. You need someone proactive and focused on something.
Don’t say I didn’t warn you