I recently had an intriguing conversation with my 42-year-old ex-girlfriend (currently are friends), and I’m looking for some insight on what she meant. She mentioned that there is a 60% chance of us getting back together in the future, but there’s a catch. She emphasized that I need to accomplish certain things or make improvements within a year to meet her expectations.
I’m a bit puzzled and curious about what exactly she meant by this. Has anyone experienced a similar situation or can offer some perspective? What could these “things” be that she wants me to work on? How should I interpret this 60% chance?
I’m open to any advice, personal stories, or suggestions you guys might have. Thank you in advance.
7 comments
could be a million different things. we can’t read her mind you need to ask her
“so you’re saying there’s a chance”
Lloyd Christmas, 1994
Sounds like , if no one wants her , you got a chance. No I can’t read her mind what is this 60 percent shit.
prior to the break up about two months ago we didn’t have sex for a month and a half
And current time we didn’t talk for three weeks. However, now we are talking we’ve hung out a few times as only friends, she said another time that we found out that we are “friends and no expectations. “
It would be a fair question to HER: “What things are you expecting me to accomplish? Let’s write out a list?”
Because it could be legit things you failed at during your relationship that she’s tired of talking about – quit excess drinking, land a stable or more professional job, get that kitchen remodel done after 6 years of walking on sawdust and sharp nails.
Or it could be illegitimate demands that are so vague as to be unactionable – dress better, be more interesting, get along better with her mother. Then it’s kind of bullshit.
And, alas, she could be thinking, “it’s not me (her), it’s you (38M)” by having these things you need to accomplish when, actually, she doesn’t want to be with you / a guy / anyone ever, but would rather see everyone else in the world as broken than view herself that way. How did she view her past relationships – was her partner always at fault, did no one measure up? That’s a really bad sign. Or does she view her past relationships as faultless mismatches / bad timing / lessons not yet learned? Then there could be hope.
Make it 0%
You broke up. Work on yourself without talking to her. After you become the guy she wants, that is when you need to ask yourself if you still want her back. I’m going to tell you the answer is probably no. In other words, do it for yourself because you want to be better, not for someone you didn’t try to grow for while you were with them, because if you didn’t do it while you were together, why are you doing it now?