Currently a junior in high school. So far it’s been the worst experience of my life. Have no friends nothing, nobody. I haven’t been to a single dance. And I am excluded from everything. Not trying to complain at all it happens. Only reason I’m making the post is to ask does life get better after high school right now I’m miserable and I hate my life.
25 comments
Some people’s best years seem to be high school, but life got waaaaay better for me once I was out of school. If you go on to college, having a clique is infinitely less important; I never felt pressured to make friends in college. The autonomy once I was out of school really, really improved my mental health.
Stick to it, OP. I think you’re going to enjoy yourself much more once you’re free from school.
That said, attitude does matter. I know good and well how awkward, terrifying, and miserable school can feel — but I often wish I could go back knowing what I do now. Some of the little stuff that seems to matter so much is nothing when you look back on it. Ask your parents about therapy. Try and enjoy the little things. Look for little things that make you happy; maybe something you see between classes. Maybe a subject you like more than others. Something, anything. It’s going to be okay.
My son is 15 and hates middle school. I have to tell him all the time that kids his age are jerks, everyone is riddled with puberty. School sucks, it’s important but it isn’t fun. Life is so much better once this period is over. College is great, everyone pays money to be there by choice. You’ll meet all sorts of people of all ages from all sorts of cool places. Work is well work but it can be rewarding and you’ll make new friends there. There’s so much to look forward to!
Yes it can, but you need to start working on yourself NOW so that you have the best chance of having a better time in college.
Start here:
###[What To Do If You’re Socially Invisible](https://www.reddit.com/r/CPRForYourSocialLife/comments/10tggoo/what_to_do_if_youre_socially_invisible/)
I’ll be very honest here. Life does not just GET better. However, you can MAKE it better. As you get older, the people around you will be more mature which might make things easier, but that depends on the people around you. You might need to try therapy if you think your problems are internal. You might need to move to a new city if you think the problems are external.
Focus on what brings you TRUE joy and try to bring more of that into your life. Be nice to people but don’t always expect them to immediately return the favor.
I was once in your shoes and I suggest getting a job or finding friends outside of school. Stop doing extracurriculars at school and do them all outside. That is one way I found friends.
Yes. Worst thing you can do is to peak on HS. Live a good life and you’ll find life very rewarding once you have freedom, means, and more confidence.
High school is arguably the hardest years of your life socially unless you’re lucky and fit in perfectly.
It won’t automatically get better, but you will have so many more tools and opportunities to make it better once you graduate, and there will be fewer factors actively working against you (most of which are some variation on “you, and everyone else, are teenagers”)
It can get better, but honestly, it never gets easier. The thing that you can change is your perception and interpretations of life. This will lead to a better view of life though the challenges you face are still present. Stay strong and keep pushing. Someday you’ll get old and die! Good luck my friend 👍
Oh damn, yes it does! I was not even bullied or struggling that much in highschool and even I can say, youre life will only just start after highschool. Sooo much better! I remember it feeling so important at that time, but looking back it was not at all. Highschool struggles are superunderestimated, I can hardly imagen how i would manage or deal with some of the things that highschoolers have to on a daily basis. The social warfare… Teens are just resillient still. Just to give an indication: grownups having to deal with snippets of social struggles in the workplace that teens have to in school on a daily basis(like you are), they sit at home with a burnout due to unsafe social workenvironment, if they didnt leave already way before that. But in highschool you literally can’t escape it and have to endure it all. Its real toughhh, people just generally tend to forget afterwards because it becomes so insignificant. Just sit it out, it gets better 100%, trust me!
Yes it does, school wasn’t great for me either but now I earn good money. Had a lot of fun after I left school. Many of the popular kids in school are in prison or in low end jobs now
When I started high school, I had acne, braces, and was overweight. I tried so hard to make friends. I had so much energy and took so much rejection. It remained an uphill battle. I gave up a little on that.
After I got acne medication and lost a lot of weight, my mom took me to a therapist and asked her to talk to me about making friends. I was encouraged to say hi to people, ask them about themselves, etc. By the time I got to my Senior year, I was popular. I couldn’t go anywhere without someone trying to make conversation with me. I patted myself on the back for it, but I did not enjoy the experience itself. I still felt alone.
After high school, I was more careful with who I made friends with. It was basically a community college, and it would have been difficult to make friends anyway. When I did make a friend, they’d drop out. I came out of it with a good husband, though.
I was popular again at the hospital I worked at after college. There was a lot of pressure on me because I was young and in-shape, and people cared so much about whether I was nice to them. People would call me snobby if I didn’t. I had in-laws living arounf me at that time too, and they always wanted to hang out with me. I just wanted ot be left alone.
I’ve moved from that area and am now a stay at home mom with no friends in my vicinity. I was exhausted for the past 8 years because I’d had no time that wasn’t with kids. I finally got the youngest in preschool this Fall. So now I have time during the day to repair myself from the damage that that did. I am the best I have ever been now.
Not that I like being alone, but I don’t like being with people either. I had a very lonely childhood and I think it had wired my brain in a way that makes socialization difficult to enjoy.
I have been successful in other areas of my life, and most of my old friends are jealous. I had a cousin and another friend delete me from Facebook after I posted vacation pics this summer. My cousin and I had messaged regularly for 15 years. She won’t talk to me now and won’t say why. The only thing that changed was the vacation pics.
That was a lot of rambling. Anyway, there are ups and downs. The ups never feel as high as the downs feel low.
It honestly depends on what your idea of better is. It’s going to take a lot of work on your part.
High school was an absolutely horrible time for me. I just want to warn you, later in life, don’t latch on to someone just because they make you feel like you are worthy of being noticed. I made that mistake and ended up in a 10 year abusive relationship.
I escaped and 20 years after that, my life finally settled down. So I can say it does eventually get better. And for you, if you make some better decisions than I did, it may get better much sooner.
Edit: Changed ‘a guy’ to ‘someone’. Not sure why I assumed gender.
Defo gets better but then gets shite again. Best years are like 23 to 28.
Hey, after you leave highschool you can move whereever you want and make new, like-minded friends❤️ it does get better and you will have more control when you leave highschool/ can branch out. If you’re in a city try signing up for a class to meet friends there. In the mean time look up self-concept and how to improve it. It WILL change your life if you work on your self-concept. I wish I knew this when I was your age. Look up dylan james and indigo detry on youtube. They helped me lots. Work on yourself now, ppl in jr high and highschool mean nothing. Work on you and you starting today and they will wish they befriended you!!!
Also, let me know how it goes❤️ you deserve the best in life and everything you want is totally available to you. Pick a passion (two at most) and put all your focus on them while building self-concept and you are gonna be ballin’. Xo
In highschool I did it all. I was a sports jock. I had a band. Had a bunch of friends. I went to all the school dances, homecoming and prom.
20yrs later, the only memories I keep are sports trips and out of all my friends just my 1 friend that keeps in touch. That’s it. I don’t remember school dances much because they weren’t that great. My friends now aren’t from highschool. My friends now are my friends who I met when we were all more matured, like from college, or friends friend’s. My circle of friends is pretty small, but it’s quality friends.
So yeah, highschool is going to pretty much be forgotten by everyone. Don’t feel bad you’re not involved in stuff because honestly, right now I look back and it didn’t make a difference. But if you do want to get involved, join clubs. It’s a good way to instantly be acquainted with people who have the same interests as you. Even if you don’t, it’ll still be fine. You look at everyone and you’re not doing what they’re doing, so you feel out of place. Eventually when you mature, you’ll just not care.
Yes, it gets way better! High School is a horrible place.
Find what you love to do in life. ❤️
I’m sorry people are horrible.
Yes life does get better!! High school years were some of my hardest years. My only friend was my cousin lol and I never got invited to/went to the dances or parties. At the time, I was devastated I felt so insecure and depressed and saw no worth in myself. I thought of suicide a lot because I thought that that’s how my life would be like forever. Now I just look back and am so happy that I never acted on those thoughts because my life got so much better. I am genuinely content with myself and where I am in life now. After high school, there are so many different ways to meet people and make friends and you aren’t limited to the same assholes you see at school every day. I know how hard it is for you right now and it may seem like nothing is going to change but trust me it will. After high school, you gain so much freedom it’s kind of scary. You can literally do ANYTHING you want. After high school, I lived with my parents through college and saved up money to go travel around Europe for 5 months after graduating. In a few weeks I’m going on a 2 month trip around Asia. The world is such an incredible place and there’s so much out there to discover. I know how discouraging it is right now but you just need to get through this time right now. Looking back at high school I think it’s funny how I thought that that was how my life would be. I was always so afraid of being judged in high school and afraid of being embarrassed but now I literally do not care because it doesn’t matter!!! I always think back to the popular kids in my high school and it’s pretty funny a lot of them are fat and bald now lol. So again, just remember nothing matters lol and you will be ok!!! I’m happy to chat more with you if you want 🙂
You’re gonna have to push yourself out of your comfort zone to grow. It’s not going to happen by itself. And it’s most likely going to be hard, frustrating, awkward and rife with failure. Do you actively try to talk to people in your class? Do you have hobbies outside of school where you interact with people? Do you volunteer?
Gonna give the controversial opinion here.
It probably won’t be much different. HS people turn into college people. If your problem is with the “crowd”, you can expect some shuffling, but people will always be people. That stays the same.
This could be a good thing meaning your “people skills” carry over to be worked on some more.
50 year old chiming in on whether life gets better… No, not in my experience.
Life is whatever you want to make it! Those friends in high school will grow part, those popular kids won’t be popular. You can have whatever kind of life you want bc you are the one in control of it. Life does get better tho, I hated high school myself I moved around so much and it sucked but make you about 2 good friends in your adult life and you will be set!
25 year old woman here. I was an outcast in high school. Nobody wanted to be my friend. I started making friends right after high school. We went out daily. Hung out at the river, went to raves, etc. That eventually stopped.
Nobody wanted to hang out with me again. I was 20. I became extremely antisocial IRL and online. I kept to myself and my family. It was only when I turned 24 that I started gaining the courage to socialize and not be awkward. People wanted to talk to me. It’s a surreal feeling.
You will find your people. You will find peace. Just give it time. Your teenage years tend to be the hardest.
There is a reason Suicide rates go up the older you get. No life does not get better. You get better at dealing with shitty things. But even with that being said, no, life will never get better. It get worse.