I dont know how to make myself orgasm. I have been sexually active for 5 years now. I’m in my early 20s. For the past three years I have had sex almost everyday. I love the sex and enjoy it very much. the sex with my boyfriend is the best sex I have. I am almost never close to finishing through penetration no matter how much I enjoy it, which is understandable since I have heard that some girls just cant come through penetration. So that’s why sometimes when I ride him in the way that it feels good for girls, im sure you girls know what i’m talking about, I can sometimes get close to finishing. But rarely. Since I have never orgasmed before I technically don’t know what coming close is. But I believe that’s what I’m feeling. I can also achieve this feeling when I’m using a vibrator. I get this really warm feeling and it feels very overwhelming. When I’m using a vibrator I also sometimes get this pulsing feeling down there. I saw someone explain it as when you take a hit of a cigarette (or vape) and get that head pulsing feeling, but in the best way possible. But as soon as it builds, which is sometimes only like 3-5 seconds longs, the feeling completely disapears. It’s very unsatisfactory and just boring. It’s like everything I was just feeling just goes away in a snap. But as soon as that happens I can’t get that pleasant warm feeling to happen again. What is going on? Any advice? Is it possible I am finishing but I just don’t realize it? Maybe I’ve overhyped orgasming from whatever I’ve been hearing and maybe it’s not that great. I’ve heard it’s hard for girls to orgasm but not this hard! Thanks for any advice
edit: I dont know if this helps at all or not but even getting close is still very difficult for me. I mentioned the only two ways I can get close. Which is riding and using a vibrator when masturbating. It’s much more difficult to get close when riding to get close. When using a vibrator it requires me to concentrate very very hard. Which is also why it doesn’t work when I’m using a vibrator at the same time as having sex with my bf. I hate using my fingers because it doesn’t feel good to me. It’s because I can’t take direct stimulation to my clit at first. It’s too sensitive. So a vibrator works better since it can send vibrations if I start a little bit off of the clit. And as the feeling builds I can get closer to directly on it.
6 comments
I will save this because I have the same issue
For me, there’s a definite difference between a penetrative orgasm and a clitoral orgasm. They both feel good, but penetrative orgasms just feel so much… Deeper? Like, they shake my entire core and make me want to cry, lol.
I’ve found that I usually have to be in complete control in order to cum from PIV and I have to be on top. Basic cowgirl, but leaned way in, basically chest to chest with my husband. He also can’t move at all otherwise it throws me off my rhythm. Usually the slower & harder I move, the better, but it varies. This is also the same technique I use with a suction cup dildo.
Aside from above, the only other time I can cum from PIV is when we have sex after I’ve already orgasmed from oral. Idk the science behind it (if any) but I usually have multiple orgasms before we even start having actual sex and as soon as my husband enters me, everything just kind of goes wild. Probably because I’m so turned on already? It seems like once I’ve had 2-3 orgasms, the easier it is to achieve them.
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I always combine penatration with clitoral stimulation, it’s just what I like. I don’t directly touch the clit but rub the bit of skin (hood?) over it otherwise way to sensitive. I don’t like vibrators, I guess everyone is different though. I watched a video called how to make a girl have squirting orgasms & that showed how to finger the g spot to come vaginally. I found doggy style hits this spot too. I remember I first orgasmed when I was like 13 (masterbation) &. I thought I had a heart attack or was dying haha. I think your mind has to be in the right place too and not worrying as this can stop you.
TLDR: explore your body, be comfortable and have fun!
Are you doing anything to warm up before sex? Any foreplay?
Lots of women do have difficulty cumming during sex. But if you are also having this issue on your own it could be something else like stress effecting you. Are you highly stressed from work? Nervous about pleasing him?
It could also be that you just arent hitting the right spot. I assume if you are using a vibe you mean one for clit stimulation? Have you tried anything for gspot stimulation? Most women can cum from clit stim. Not all. When you are riding and occasionally getting close, are you facing him? If so, maybe try reverse cowgirl. This is also why doggy is so popular. But there are plenty of other positions that will help hit that spot.
Get your wand clit vibe and get on top of your bf (or, put a pillow under you and get a dildo inside of you, as if you are riding your bf)
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Go slow. Grind and grind and grind until you’re feeling yourself get really horny. Get your clit vibe and place it on your clit. Keep grinding. Bring yourself to that feeling you’ve been getting and KEEP GOING. Clench your pussy down on the vibe/cock. Fantasize about something filthy (do NOT concentrate on the sensations, think of something nasty that turns you on)
Push your body down onto the clit vibe. Grind, grind, grind.
I would recommend trying this solo first, that’s why I recommend the pillow/dildo combination. Riding my third sexual partner (and grinding my clit on him) was the first time I had ever came in my life. I spent many years chasing that orgasm until an ex gave me a clit vibe. I’ve never been without it since. Some girls are lucky and can cum from vaginal penetration alone but a lot of us can’t. Vag penetration AND clit stimulation are the easiest way to have intense orgasms.
Good luck, let me know how it goes!