Women who grew up in abusive families and/or were in toxic relationships—how did you make a loving, safe home for yourself?

7 comments

1. Still working on it! But I’ve had heaps of therapy so that’s a good start. It’s not easy. I was with my sister the other day and we were reflecting on our past relationships, and suddenly realised how low our standards had been and how much we’d put up with when we shouldn’t have. We’re both in our 50s and being in good relationships is still a work in progress.

2. therapy, domestic violence education, studying toxic family dynamics.

3. [removed]

4. Edit: had to repost because I used a no-no word and Reddit wasn’t pleased

   Therapy. It helped me accept that what I was taught and lived through was not “normal” So I moved out. After a lot of guilt feelings. And then I got a cat and named him Kevin, he was a little wild so also rescued a dog for him to play with. A little family of weirdos we are but it’s a safe space where I hope friends and others I invite in can find home 💗

5. Yeah tell me how to do it lol

6. I learned the big thing for me was to have my own space. Just mine that nobody else touched.

   The big thing for me was that I had the kids really and they needed a safe place. We have during 10y made the house ours, its the same house but we made it ourself how we want it, safe for everyone and there needs.

   I also made sure my kids haven’t grown up same as I. It’s same rules for everyone, everyone have there space thats nobody elses touches and so on.

7. Therapy, being extremely open with myself and my partner about my emotions and shit, reading lots of books about emotional growth and well being, meditation, finding ways to dumb cortisol, learning to talk nicer to myself, learning how to set healthy boundaries, reminding myself that I can grow and move forward.