It’s so annoying…. And I don’t feel like I am that quiet.
I feel like I just look like someone who would be more extroverted… And have autoimmune disorder that throws states of brain fog, depression, and pain that can influence my behavior.
A girl said “hey, big talker” towards the end of a meeting yesterday and I’m thinking “I’ve talked just as much as you”…. and do you expect that to generate a conversation and get me talking??
Another jokingly said as we were leaving “try not to talk so much next time and stop ostracizing the conversation”…. And I’m just thinking “if I wanted to talk more- I would’ve”
At a meeting today I had been quiet during the meeting because I was very unfamiliar with the topic so was letting others talk and I was listening…. Midway through I had some feedback and they acted like “wait everyone shit up he’s actually talking for once”…. But I was chit chatting with them before the meeting
It’s just so frustrating. I don’t want to be viewed like this and don’t think it’s really me.
4 comments
I get that too time to time. To me it’s just that I suck at smalltalk big time. Then again I am Finn so that explains some of it. It’s nationality thing we all speak only if we have actually something to say.
For some that newer ever shuts up by comparison we look quiet.
You can try express yourself more, but don’t know expect fast changes.
It isnt. Im sorry. Some people are so perfect at socializing
This is just my personal advice, so feel free to take it or leave it! I find the commentary about your talking to be rude (they also misused the word “ostracize” – I get what he was trying to sarcastically say, but still). That would motivate me to reciprocate their sarcasm & criticism about who is contributing to the convo. That being said, assert yourself. Make it a point to express an idea or contribute in a meaningful way to the convo during the meetings. Focus on the topic at hand & being articulate. A lot of the mastery of public speaking comes from actively practicing, especially in forums like a work environment. You can engage in non-verbal ways, too; holding eye contact with whoever is currently speaking, nodding, smiling politely, etc. Responding to other ppl’s comments (“piggybacking,” if you will) can also help with engagement if you’re not knowledgeable about the subject matter specifically. Telling people they have interesting/good ideas is helpful, too. You can do a lot to shape people’s impression of you, if that’s your goal. Source: I’m a college professor/former competitive speaker/debater
Generally when I say someone is quiet it jus means I want to get to know you a lil better. Def may be annoying for you but a lot of people don’t know how to genuinely communicate anymore so it’s hard to talk to people. And by the ex you’ve giving people want to hear you, they jus have a poor way to get you “out of your shell”. I would try and have a couple of pre loaded responses for people who say stuff like that too.