mannnnn okay so me and my bf have really zero issues in our sex life. best we’ve both ever had (i believe him, lol) and often. no questions. i’ve always really not been a fan of being on top. 🤷♀️ i’ve always said it just doesn’t seem right like “using a nail to hit the hammer to get the nail in the wall- makes no sense” 😬😂 now i will get up there here and there, definitely when he just flips me up there and i really do my best. i always tell him “you know i’m not good at this part!” and he always tells me that i am, always shuts down the idea of me not knowing how to fuck him on top. side note- i’m not a lazy partner. firstly, he forsure is more than satisfied with my oral work, lol and i absolutely participate in all ways and every which way we have sex. i just don’t feel like i can get a good rhythm up there..
SUGGESTIONS? tips, tricks..??
i just wanna like show up and confidently climb up and he be like “who tf? whaaaat?” and i just blow his mind until he loses it. 🖤😊
29 comments
Well he’s been telling you that you’re good at it, so you’re either good/decent or he’s trying to boost your confidence so you take charge. My advice is to act confident at it until you start feeling more confident in your skills. Hop on top and ride him, you can try supporting yourself on your knees or on your feet, and alternating between going slow and fast. Lean forward or backwards, just try every option. Do what feels good to you while also paying attention to him, and make sure to enjoy yourself.
We’re always our worst critics, so odds are you’re not bad and your partner probably enjoys you on top. Good luck!
Practice makes perfect so just ask him for a practice session outside of your normal routine? Take your time without the pressure of getting him or yourself off. Try different techniques to learn what works for you and ask for feedback on what works for him. Repeat until you feel confident that you have a hang of it.
Be aware that some men can find it hard to orgasm in that position while still very much enjoying being taken care of like that.
Its easier on your feet with him in a couch or chair.much easier than in a bed, on your knees.
i also do need to like incorporate exercise in my life lol. i don’t have a whole lot in me to do that much leg work for that long 😅
I’m just here to take notes because I’m curious what works too! Lol thanks for asking this question
Sit on him with him fully inside you and move forwards and backwards, not up and down. This way you can also rub your clit against him which is very very nice. Put your hands on his chest for leverage.
I used to feel the same but what worked for me is to feel confident it really really helps
You gotta get up there, and rub back and forth, ONLY concerned with how it feels for you. Forget all the bouncing up and down nonsense, this is a grinding position. If it feels good for you, it will feel good to him.
I think the point of you being on top is first that you are in control. He can relax and let you do what you want for yourself, as much as what you want to do to him. Second, it’s very visually stimulating to flip the dominant male dynamic where you are looming over him. I get more physical pleasure from being on top (I’m a dude) but seeing my girl on top and controlling things is super hot.
You want please him or you ? Grinding is your pleasure (mostly) up and Down his pleasure. It’s like a car: you need to listen the engine and listen or feel the shift of the transmission…. When his lower belly freeze his legs are less flexible and you feel his dick getting harder with febrile and unhinge movement and that small silence on his part just before he shoot the mash… that’s when you know you did a good job.
I can tell you but its long winded and can get confusing. It’s more of a show and tell thing.
Our preferred method is to move back and forward, while at the same time making a “vertical circle” (not horizontal) motion with your hips. The back and forth motion enables you to grind your clit against his penis and the vertical circular motion torques the head of his penis where the frenulum and crown (his most sensitive areas) are located. You can thank me later.
You could also lean forward and bounce on him up and down, switch it up to grind/rub your clit on him. Plus lean back a little and he can rub your clit while watching himself go in/out. Then try the reverse cow girl which as a male I find so hot!!
You being on top is solely about your pleasure, so don’t worry about him. Find what makes YOU feel good up there.
There are YouTube videos to help you with the motions. Take a pillow or two and infront of a mirror watch yourself and practice. I did that and it gave me much more confidence going into it on how I looked, the different hip movements etc.
Okay, there’s two main moves I think, up down and the back and forth or grinding.
Back and forth is going to make you feel real good, for most guys it’s not amazing but not bad either. So sprinkle it in and when you get close go for it, but too much of this might not be the best.
For him, up and down slow is probably best. Alternative between deep and shallow. Eye contact, hands on chest, all the good intimate stuff mixed in.
I find backwards kneeling between their legs with your calves under their thighs is a good position. They can bend their legs and move up while you move down with a comfortable base. We call it “The Fireman” (because a fireman taught it to me)
Male here, her feeling her boobs is a big one for me when she’s on top
It depends a lot on each of your sizes. I ride him with my knees way up by his shoulders and my hands on either side of his head. It’s like being a jockey on a racehorse but he seems to like it most that way. He can thrust up when he feels like it and I can get a good rhythm and the whole time he can play with my ass.
Sometimes I watch Meg the stallion for motivation 😭😭😭
Mail hitting the hammer means you’re bouncing instead of grinding I’m guessing? When you’re riding focus on your pleasure, he’ll be turned on by the fact that you’re enjoying your self, grinding feels better for the woman and stimulates the clit so you typically get more into it compared to bouncing, I like to go up grind then back down and repeat, keeping the rhythm is important also try riding on the couch, riding on the bed isn’t really enjoyable for me, riding on the couch is so much easier, you can use the back of the couch to help you move
Nothing wrong with being up there to please him. My man works HARD in the bedroom for me so the least I can do is replay the favour sometimes. I am like you; where girl on top/riding is my least favourite. That being said; I used to be able to orgasm this way with my exes by leaning forward/lying on them and sort of grinding up and down on their shaft. I haven’t been able to achieve this with my current bf, but he’s also the first guy I’ve been with since I had my son (my ex and my sex life died 100%). So my sensations down there have changed maybe?
Anyways, you could try that for a finish. But mostly when I’m up there, it’s 100% an act these days. And that’s okay with me! It’s my way of giving back to him for all the amazing lovemaking he gives to me. I am doing FOR him and I love that part of being on top. I’ve asked around reddit for tips and overall most guys say they like a mix of all of the above. So grinding, bouncing/twerking, up and down circular motions. Many say they love reverse cowgirl and I’ve had this request from my man. He seems pretty happy when I initiate this. It’s fun if you can try to spin on him without slipping out. It’s a little unspoken goal we set for ourselves haha. Then maybe ride him in reverse for a bit; Google then nun position. It makes it easier to go longer (you basically slip your legs inside his and under his knees so your kneeling while in reverse and bounce up and down. If he’s up for the challenge you can transition to doggy from here without him pulling out for the finish line. I don’t get much physical pleasure from riding these days but it’s a fun challenge and a workout.
I agree that grinding is where it’s at for my pleasure. But my partner LOVES the bounce. All I can tell you is don’t skip leg day and keep that cardio up. There’s no way around it if you want to be able to bounce without dying. I grind and talk dirty, boobs in his face, whisper in his ear, kiss his neck, everything possible to build him up. Then go in for the kill with the up and down. Definitely feet under my body like I’m in a squat and let me tell you, it’s like running a marathon. By the end I feel like I just might die but when he finishes and the look on his face it’s so rewarding and I’m glad I pushed through.
Practice, practice, practice. Have him guide you if you’re comfortable with that. Start by rocking back and forth and experiment with leaning forwards and backwards. If you want to spice it up, raise one of your legs or get into the squat position for deeper penetration.
But I’d find ways to practice, either on him or a dildo on your own time. Just like dancing, it’s all about finding your rhythm.
Practice practice, and maybe watch some porn videos as instructional material. It’s all about consistent hip movement and learning how far back you can go without him slipping out
So what works great for me and is driving the guys nuts: the up and down movement, but just on the tip of his penis. I do this at the beginning of riding him and also sometimes in between.
If you wanna do up and down but can’t on the bed, go on the floor or do it sitting on a chair. Total game changer. I can’t go for 30 seconds with the bed fighting me, but can just keep going on the floor. The transition to the floor can be hot too, if you kinda grab him and push him to the ground, or if you just start standing and don’t go to the floor
You can’t kneel on top of a man and move up and down? What is the problem exactly? I was straddling boys when I was 15 it’s not a complicated activity.
To quote cruel intentions 2- “up and down back and forth, faster, faster”