I have posted on here before about marriage issues. We are going to a marriage counselor, but it’s not helping. Tonight during an argument he basically said I have no purpose. He said I don’t do anything. I do work full time, but I am not passionate enough about my job for him. There is a lot more to it, but I don’t have the energy to explain it all. I just feel worthless and like I don’t even want to exist anymore.
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Listen, I get that you’re feeling down and worthless right now, but let’s not jump to the extreme of not wanting to exist anymore. It’s important to remember that your worth isn’t defined by your partner’s opinion of your job or your passions. Focus on finding your own purpose and happiness, whether it’s through your career or other aspects of your life. Don’t let someone else’s words bring you down.
Sorry this is the first time that I talk to you. But not many people living out here are passionate about their full timejob. But You are doing one, earning for your family and make a living in this economy, this is good enough!I do not know what happened between you and your husband but sounds like he just want to say that to make you mad! You are great and don’t let him decide how you feel about youself:)
Him saying that you have no purpose says a lot more about him than it does about you. Why is he trying to put you down? Why is he saying such cruel things? He knew they would be hurtful. Maybe he feels worthless and is taking it out on you. The reason doesn’t really matter, just know that his words are not the truth.
Do you have someone you could reach out to talk? You don’t have to say what happened just say you’re feeling a bit down and need someone to talk to. Get your mind on other things and remember the good things in life.
Your husband is a mean person. I hope you’re sharing with marriage counselor. Sounds like he could do some individual counseling also. When one partner starts feeling Superior and puts down or calls their spouse names it is a major issue. You’re supposed to be partners.
“I just feel worthless and like I don’t even want to exist anymore.”
Has your counselor talked about codependency at all in your sessions? If not, perhaps you can ask? I think it might be beneficial for you to learn about.
It sounds like he was being an asshole. Sometimes people are assholes. It doesn’t mean that you don’t deserve to exist.
We all have felt this way at one time or another. I refuse to believe you or anyone else is worthless. Even a stay at home mother has tremendous value. We all do. Sounds like he is overlooking your value. We all have purpose, its to bad he does not see it. An amazing man will walk in to your life and show you your true value. Stay strong!
I am passionate about my spouse, family, and hobbies in that order.
Work isn’t a reason to live, it’s just what we do to have the money to live?
Sure I like my job, I kick ass at it, I like what we do as a company, but at the end of the day I close my laptop and have nothing to do with it until I work next.
I’ve felt that way too . I can relate . I can share what help me navigate my emotions I read the Bible I seek god . It bring me peace and comfort .
You are worth so much don’t let his comments get to you . Do something for yourself that makes you happy .
Some people find purpose in their careers. (No one I’ve ever met, but ya know… maybe some people do) Other people find purpose elsewhere..
Some people don’t have an explicit “purpose” laid out. They live life according to what seems right to them.
None of these things give a person more worth than others. Anyone who says contrary has questionable motives.
(My own personal bias tells me that a person with a purpose might be happier and more fulfilled but that has nothing to do with worth.)
It seems to me you have a purpose: your family. How weird he thinks that doesn’t count!
Another alarming thing about your post is your apparent depression. I encourage you to talk to your doctor about the possibility of getting on antidepressants.
As a side note: Antidepressants don’t fix anything in your life. They don’t make you happier. They simply allow you to be you again. It sounds like that might have gotten lost somewhere along the way.
So sometimes you can get a pretty good deal on a new car if you commit to trading your old one in. Have you checked to see if there’s anything like that for husbands? Because this one ain’t it.
In all seriousness, no spouse should speak that way and this sounds like an abusive situation. Unfortunately, your emotional and confidence issues will continue to exist as long as he’s around, so step 1 is removing the toxicity from your life. I know that’s easier said than done. But trust me, the knife wound will never heal until you remove the knife.
I wish I could send you a great big hug through this writing. I am thinking that there is something bringing you down. I want you to start by realizing you do have hope. Because without hope we have nothing. I found out when a friend told me that during my ‘perfect storm’, it changed so much in my mind and made me realize the thoughts of hopelessness I was having. I know that you are aware that only you can change your thoughts and feelings. No other people can do that for you. Their love and support will be a great asset. In communication we find that there are times when people say things and we don’t receive them how they meant them. A funny story in my life. My sister, an interior decorated hand painted, timing-consuming stripes all around my sunroom, while she was visiting. After she had arrived home, I texted her and said, ‘Oh man! I have hit the wall!’ To that she responded, ‘ohhhh, that’s okay, I know you didn’t mean to, and I can fix it when I come back again’. I started laughing so hard because it had been very clear to me that I didn’t mean literally but figuratively that I was exhausted!! Maybe deep down inside your husband is concerned about you because he sees you hurting. He might not express it clearly or what feels like kindness. But is he correct in saying you are lacking goals that excite you and maybe you could use some time self-evaluating what fills you up and gives you determination and drive. You have been gifted with talents and abilities like no one else. God designed you with a plan in mind. He wants you to live life abundantly and seeking him. His plan for you will give you the tenacity and perseverance to get going on those goals you have set. Maybe the counselors you are seeing are not the right fit for you all. They are like any doctor as we have to find the one, we feel most comfortable around. Have you thought about a job coach to help you find ways to have joy in your job or search out one that is made for your giftedness? Let me know if I can send you any communication resources or maybe you would like to reach out and we can privately chat. I want you to see all your potential and giftedness. You are the joy that others need in their life.