I have entered a sentimental stage of my life and I’m craving emotional intimacy in my friendships after having walls up for years (due to feeling unfit for human consumption). I’m trying to encourage vulnerability and openness, which means sharing my own struggles and feelings, but I keep hitting a mental roadblock because I don’t know where the line is where sharing becomes inappropriate and burdensome. I have a lot of paranoia about saying the wrong thing and causing harm, or dumping something on someone that I should be paying a professional to listen to instead of a friend. At the same time, I’m worried about being too secretive and creating more distance between me and my friends. How do you figure out what is acceptable to say and what is too much?
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If you aren’t seeing a counselor, you might want to consider that first. I never thought I could be helped, but I found a great telehealth provider and it’s really helped me – a lot! I think you might find a lot of what you are looking for.
That being said, it’s difficult to answer your question as some friends don’t want to be bothered with drama, etc and some don’t mind. Some might want to listen and even share, and others might start distancing themselves if they would rather not be consumed with heavy topics.
Hey, I know where you’re coming from. I’ve felt the same way myself sometimes. I’ve found that the way that it works best is to open up slowly and see how your friends react. I would love to give you more advice, but I have 2 questions so I can be a bit more specific.
Are your friends mostly guys or girls? (Theirs a different way for both bc guys and girls act different)
Do your friends open up to you now even know you don’t open up to them?