**I turned off the last seen and the blue double-check on WhatsApp**, not so much for privacy (a bonus), but because I used to beat myself up when I texted someone and they read my message (blue double check) and didn’t text, or the text was delivered but they didn’t read it even if they were online (last seen).
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**I wish I could turn off the “read” on Instagram.** I disabled the “last seen”, but I can’t disable the “read”. I feel super stupid when left on read, and *I’m not talking about important messages or questions, I’m talking about a short conversation when I mention 3 bands I enjoy, or even a “hahaha”.* I know there’s the option of liking the message, which I use to end a conversation without being left on read or the other person feeling ignored. But, even though I sometimes feel ignored/stupid when left on read (no matter the message), I think it’s stupid to feel bad for not being replied. **Conversations, short or long, have to end,** and **in real life, casual conversations don’t finish with “It was nice to talk to you, let’s end the conversation here”**. Being left on read with a non-important message is like saying something in a conversation, followed by a silence because there’s nothing to say. You may feel uncomfortable because your words were the full stop, but that doesn’t mean you said something wrong, it’s just… there’s nothing to say. But with social media, we can be having the same conversation for hours or even days.
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**Growing up with social media gave me some kind of anxiety.** I remember Windows Live Messenger had something called **”nudges” or “buzzs”**, where *you just sent a vibration to other user just to get their attention.* As you can imagine, now with all the content about setting boundaries and harassment on social media, **it’s great we don’t have the option of nudging someone.**
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NOTE: I post it on “social skills” because it’s related to social skills in a digital environment. I posted it on “social media” but it was deleted because it was for professionals -\_-
3 comments
I agree OP and its frustrating when I don’t have the option to turn it off. I just try and, when i send a message on say Instagram, i dont open it again unless i have more to add or they respond.
I relate to this. They might not be trying to deliberately ignore you , and eventually (even if it’s days) they’ll text you again ; it still can make you feel like you were uninteresting /boring. I wish the “Seen” and “read” were never a thing in social media messaging in the first place. I like the older texting 10+ years ago when you couldn’t see if they read your message or not.
So many people do it and mean nothing personal by it. I leave ppl on read cus I don’t have the energy to reply or idk what to say at that moment, and others do the same to me. I only do it if it’s small talk or random topics type of chatter, not if it’s something important.
It’s nbd, don’t feel bad about getting left on read/seen, it happens to everyone. I feel like our attention span is much shorter these days lol
Also wow, I forgot about nudges! Brings back memories lol