What was your greatest pee?

23 comments

  2. 1:43 nonstop stream. In college. I was stuck on a small boat with girls and no bathroom. The pain was excruciating. Could barely walk to the bathroom. But glad I had the time piece and the presence of mind to time it.

  4. After a long day of fishing. Got back my friend’s uncles house. Wasn’t familiar with them so I went outside and peed for atleast a minute straight. It was amazing

  7. Years ago while walking home drunk I stopped to pee on a fence on the side of someone’s house. I hear someone running up so I try to brace for a tackle. Nope, some lady(I assume also drunk) popped a squat and started peeing on their fence too. It was a nice little bonding moment.

  8. Finally a place for my story.

    Summer 2018. Pearl Jam is on tour in Europe. I attend the shows in Prague, Krakow, and Barcelona before heading to Lisbon to end my trip with seeing them one final time at the NOS Alive festival.

    The day after the festival ended was a Sunday, which was also the FIFA World Cup Final between France and Croatia. The main square in Lisbon, Praca de Comérico, was playing the match on giant screens packed with thousands of people. There were food and beer stalls and everyone was just having a blast and what not. As the end of the first half is approaching, I realize I really need to pee. Then the half ends. I can’t remember what the porta potty/toilet situation was exactly but there definitely was not enough for everyone to pee in time before the second half began. I soon notice all the guys in the crowd, also needing to pee, begin to run out to the nearby river/sea facing the plaza where everyone, including myself, proceeds to pee in said river/sea. Throngs of people just peeing freely with no regard for time and space—pure liberation. Definitely my greatest and funniest pee.

    A visual of the [plaza](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Pra%C3%A7a_do_Com%C3%A9rcio) for reference.

  9. The only memorable one was when I had to dip out of The Return of the King a bit early after downing the largest Cherry Coke the theater sold, possibly without ice.

  10. During my gap year I drunkenly peed off the roof of the school I was at at like 1am. Highest thing I’ve peed off of and it was great

  11. Making it to the end of the Return of the King without taking piss throughout the whole movie and making it to urinal before the lines formed. Best piss ever.

  12. I was leaving work and was like “I could go, but may as well just wait until I get home.”

    Then there were train problems. Catastrophic train problems. It normally took me an hour to get home from that job and it ended up taking like 4-5 hours that night.

    By the time I finally got to the train station in my hometown, I had to go so bad that I found a dark corner of the station parking lot and let out the most satisfying piss of my lifetime.

  14. What was my greatest pee? It was on a tree. The ants fled with terror for what they see.

    mic drop*

  15. i woke up around 10 am after a long night of drinking. my roommate was in the bathroom and my neighbors were outside. i grabbed an empty 2 liter bottle and went in the basement. it was awkward not spilling any, but i filled up the whole bottle with pee foam coming out of the top.

  16. It happened after a night with a female friend. Apparently when erect the valve to the bladder is closed, so when her and I did our thing I had totally forgotten I needed to pee. Afterwards I felt that valve release and suddenly I had to unload 14 hours worth of liquid I consumed during the 100F weather.

    This was the first time I actually sat down to pee. The stream was the thickest I’d ever seen come out of me with perfect pressure for 20 seconds. It was a good thing I was sitting because my legs ended up relaxing and I slouched over on the toilet, it was kinda splashing so I had to maneuver myself while still peeing into a standing position. My partner in the other room heard me shuffling around so she walked in and we both stared at how long I was going, at this point it was about 30 seconds non stop. She held it for me for another 20 seconds, no words exchanged. After about 50 seconds I slowed down. And that’s how she learned she was into that.

  17. The first time after I had my catheter removed that I’d been wearing for 10 days following prostate surgery. Burned like hell but it was such a relief to not have that damn catheter in.

  18. Normally happens during one of those “photo finish” runs to the restroom. Bladder is so full that when I finally go it’s like AAAAAAhhhhhhhhhhhh that’s the stuff.

  19. Took me 2 days to hike a trail. Then about 3 hours to climb a cliff. But I drank nearly 2 bottles of water doing so. When I reached the top I stood at the cliff edge and unleashed the kraken.

    Just kidding that didn’t happen. I had a blockage in my pipes. Didn’t pea for 3 days. When they insertef a catheter and I was finally able to unload it was painful but easily the most satisfying relief I’ve ever experienced.

  21. May 25, 2000

    I was but a bladder shy middle schooler on a field trip. Held it for 14 hours, 30 minutes.

  22. It was probably when I was 24 and my cousin and I visited his friend in NYC. One night, drunk, we peed off the roof of a twelve-story building. And yes, I know, NYC has *much* taller buildings. But I grew up in a small town in the Midwest, so pissing off a twelve-story building was (for me) like pissing on top of the Grand Canyon.

  23. Peeing off of the highest point in an area is probably the greatest feeling in the world.

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