I think the title says it all.
I never really had any close friends, I even was bullied my whole life. But wherever I go, I struggle with making friends. I feel like there’s something off-putting about me and I couldn’t point a finger on what it is.
Me and my therapist tried to look for the reason and she eventually revealed, she thinks people find my voice annoying and that’s why they avoid talking to me.
I never really liked my voice. I mean, who does like their voice? It sounds so weird, especially when it’s recorded. I avoid watching videos/listening to voice messages where I’m talking because I feel like I sound too child-like and weird. There is one word that could describe my voice perfectly but it would probably violate the rules…
Now I feel crushed. I have a new insecurity I can’t fix. I would rather have her tell me I’m a bad person or something because that’s something you can change. Voice is unchangeable as far as I know.
She told me it’s too high pitched and annoying. I never realised it was high pitched. My sister has a high pitched voice and I never realised I have it too. Do people really find having a high-pitched voice so annoying? Is it really that big of a deal? Would you avoid person for having a voice who does have such voice?
I am thinking about voice surgery but no one does it where I live and I doubt I would be able to afford it anyway. Is there any other way to change your voice? š
18 comments
There are apparently ways to change the pitch of your voice with speech therapy.
https://youtu.be/UuD7yPKrDKE?si=IBF2DLpR3o5RAHBt
Idk how high a person’s voice needs to be for me to find it annoying though. Ofc there have been a few times in my life where I might hear a person’s voice and be surprised by the pitch, whether it be too high or too low. But eventually I associate that pitch with that person. If I were to hear any other pitch coming from that person, it sounds unnatural. With enough exposure to something, I will accept things as they are. I would think this applies to other people as well. I’m not sure whether I like that the therapist you were seeing told you that. It’s a double edged sword. Tell the person the truth and it’s something not easily changed, or let the person anxiously wonder why no matter what they do, no one seems to enjoy talking to them. The problem is, what if it’s just your therapist’s opinion and that’s not why? Idk I’m conflicted about you being told that. Anyway, that’s just one video I found on YouTube. I’m sure there are more. I would recommend recording your voice before and after exercises and seeing if it makes a difference.
IDK if this is the case? I have an annoying high-pitched voice and I have friends. I would only actually avoid someone because of their voice if their voice was like, REALLY LOUD bc I’m sensitive to loud noises.
i can’t remember a single person i ever met that i thought of as annoying purely based on their voice. i know people who have extreme voices but if they’re nice people it shouldn’t be an issue. one thing that comes to my mind regarding voices that would make me avoid a person is if they (constantly) talk so loudly that it either hurts my ears or that i’m afraid they will make sensitive information spread to the whole neighborhood. but those are behaviors not the voice itself. or if people spit very much while talking and simultaneously can’t keep an appropriate distance. that would also be a reason to avoid someone. so if your voice is really that special i still can’t imagine that it is a reason to avoid you if you don’t also spit or yell while talking. i know people are more superficial than they like to believe so there may very well be a subconscious bias that i just don’t see right now. and i also don’t mean to say there is something you’re doing wrong when it’s actually other people avoiding you who cause a problem. i just kind of wanted to give you hope that i don’t think you’re necessarily stuck with something you can’t change and that will keep people away. i know so many people who are annoying in so many ways and they still have friends. no matter what your voice actually sounds like i’m sure you still have options
Look for voice coaches (like the ones that train actors) they will be able to help you out š
Donāt feel bad for discovering this. The fact that the therapist had the courage to tell a difficult truth is an amazing opportunity, you can find a way to fix or contain the issue.
A bit weird for a therapist to say, but if your voice is extreme, I guess I would rather the honesty than just wondering forever. Still, I don’t really care what someone’s voice is like unless they are particularly loud/shouty.
There are voice trainers out there, but that might cost too much, you can probably look for tips in the trans community via you-tube and such. You may have to record yourself to see progress or what you really want to change.
Iāve been begging friends and therapists to tell me whatās unlikeable about me so I can fix it for ages, someone coming out and giving you a concrete thing (while it may seem harsh) is a gift
Hmm. Maybe your voice is a little annoying, but you can work on that with a voice coach, and perhaps record your voice, play it back and adjust it with practice.
But I really think you may need a new therapist. Your voice quality can be worked on, and a new therapist can give you tools to work on your social skills.
i have witnessed multiple people get socially excluded because of their voice, one was a boy who sounded like a higer pitched nasliar urkel one was a girl who had a dumb blonde valley girl every statement sounds like a question voice (she was actually a brilliant scientist and never treated as such). the good news is its changeable, just takes work. you can do it!
it sucks how judgemental we are as humans. if you are able to change your voice you will probably go through the same social experience that people who lose weight from obesity experience
First of all, your therapist is unprofessional. Secondly, this is silly – you are going off on other peopleās opinions about your worth. You said before that this is a new insecurity because it was voiced by one person but this doesnāt make it true or that everyone else perceives you in that specific way.
Your therapist is taking advantage of your insecurities and just downright being rude. The real reason you probably struggle is because of your lack of confidence.
Itās actually sad to change your whole view of yourself and want surgery over one persons perceived opinion. Please drop this therapist, get a new one, and start looking up about confidence. Nobody wants to be around an insecure person and it generally makes people want to push them around naturally.
You are enough, you just have to stop being a pushover.
Usually abnormally high pitched voices are an indicator of abuse, and it can be annoying, but not so annoying you don’t wanna be friends with them
Ummm as a therapist myself…. this is extremely appalling!!! Under no circumstance should a therapist give that kind of feedback… that is not using any kinda of therapeutic skill or modality.. thats just being mean. I’m sorry that happened to you.
We need a rate my voice subreddit, because I feel like my voice is super annoying but I canāt put it into words.
Edit: There is! Letās all go there and post lol
I knew a woman once who I liked but never really became friends with because her voice was at a pitch that gave me a headache whenever I was with her. I felt really bad about it and tried for ages to ignore it, but I just couldnāt deal.
So it can be a thing? Not something that would matter to people who already know and love you, but might deter people just getting to know you.
The good news is that voices are, generally, something one can change. Some sessions with a voice coach (you can probably find one who will zoom with you) plus practice will probably make a difference, and might well be worth it.
I used to work at a bar and one of the regulars straight up talked like Minnie Mouse. she had tons of friends, and I’m pretty sure if she can form friendships with that monstrosity of a voice so can you lol
Very strange for a therapist to say this. Is this perhaps something you interpreted? Or did they say that your voice is weird straight up? Odd.
I can only think of a couple cases where girls with high voices annoyed me and it was because they spoke like a baby. They would end their sentences with some sort of tone to try and sound ācuteā when really it came out as immature. Perhaps it was accidental but as long as you arenāt speaking like a baby, stretching words, and stuff like that I donāt think a voice could annoy me.
I would work on things you can control. For example, a girl in my class has a very high pitched voice. However, she has such a wonderful pronunciation with words, uses excellent vocabulary, and speaks better than a lot of adults I know. No doubt it has to deal with her interest in books and writing. But still, those are things that can be adopted into daily discussion.
You should complain about your therapist. That is very unprofessional. It is awful that they said that.