Long story short my on and off ex had a really really great thing going. However, I was in the military and she was swamped with full time work and school. With me being gone for so long and her being so busy she decided to break things off. Every time I came home on leave she wanted to get back together, apologize profusely for not trying hard enough to make it work, etc. Things would be amazing for the two weeks while I was home. Shortly after I leave things would go sideways with her work, school, or family issues, and she would be so stressed and overwhelmed she would break up with me. This cycle would repeat three times. I would always go no contact and she would come back every single time. While we were apart I would think about her constantly and I even almost called other women by her name a couple of times. I truly loved her and wanted nothing more than to make it work.
Fast forward to now. I’m home for good from the military and working full time. Out of nowhere she likes one of my instagram posts probably in an attempt to initiate something but I did not reciprocate. I was doing fine for the last 8 months since I last talked to her. Now I can’t stop thinking about her. I’m not so naive to think this cycle won’t repeat again.. but now that I’m home permanently is it worth trying again? Everyone in our circle of friends and family loved seeing us together but was really upset for what she did to me. I don’t want to be that guy that’s a pushover and let’s people walk all over me, but I can’t help but remember what we had and wonder if it could be like that again. What do you guys think? I’d appreciate some advice.
5 comments
Yes I think a long distance relationship and one where you live closeby are dramatically different
What happens when she becomes stressed again or you have to go on a work related trip or something similar. Do what makes you happy but proceed with caution.
I believe in that, but I believe moreso that if you don’t work the first time, continuing to try with them is folly.
It’s long odds that stuff plays out differently this time when you two already have a pattern. Maybe had you never met before it’d be the right time, but after things going wrong so many times, history repeats.
After there’s a wrong time, there is rarely a right time. You’ll have a better chance of building something new, than deconstructing what you two have back to its foundation and building it back up.
It sounds like you’ve been through a lot with your ex, and it’s understandable that you’re feeling conflicted about whether to give it another shot. However, it’s important to remember that the past patterns of breaking up and getting back together may not change just because you’re now home permanently. It’s great that you’re considering your own well-being and not wanting to be a pushover, so maybe taking some time to focus on yourself and see how you feel without the cycle of getting back together could give you some clarity. Ultimately, it’s about what’s best for you and your own happiness, so trust your instincts and make a decision that feels right for you.
I don’t believe in this. If it’s real, you make it the right time.
This trope is for users who want to re-enter your life to take advantage of you again.