For context, I had slept with a guy I was just feeling out. I noticed he was trying to seek validation of some kind after sex like asking me if I climaxed, giving me the option to spend the night (which I declined, we already agreed I’d be going home prior to me arriving at his home), and immediately asking when I’m free when I said I’d miss him. We weren’t dating or anything, but the very next day he calls to tell me he slept with someone else. Initially, I’m like “ok? what’s the problem?” but then he goes onto to say that he likes me because I’m intimate and talk to him in a way he likes. I will admit the whole situation triggered me to when I found out about cheating exes but I was able to separate the two. The guy then asks to meet him the very same day which I put the brakes on. He goes to say that he isn’t sure he wants a relationship to which I tell him to go figure that out. It doesn’t take him more than a day to call me back and say he wants to be my boyfriend. I remember him telling me I’m hard to read and just the way he described how he hooked up w someone the very next night we were together felt fictitious to me. This was coming from someone who claimed women ghost him after the first date and the last time he even had sex was like 6 months ago. I think the fact I didn’t unravel stumped him and after that he tried weird ways to gain my interest like sending photos and poems. I’m definitely passing on this one but the whole situation was so odd it’s almost entertaining…
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I don’t know what it is. Could be a form of negging but does it really matter what word you use? I would just call it weird, possible lying and manipulation. Negging is a broad term describing anything that’s meant to “knock you down a peg” egowise. Mean to be used on very confident (or even narcissistic) women who think they’re “all that”, to make them feel like they’re not such a catch as they thought. It also signals disinterest so a form of playing hard-to-get. It serves two purposes. It might be in that same spirit, if he was lying about it, but it’s not really a classical neg as it’s usually described. People do all kinds of shit in dating that might be called “pick up artist” trickery even without knowing the word for it or what they’re actually doing.
I wouldn’t call this negging….
Seems like an attempt to gauge your interest and see what you will put up with, or how you will respond.
I also felt it was likely that he was lying to say that he slept with someone else the very next day?
IDK if the hot-n-cold is his somewhat idiotic way of trying to understand you by pushing buttons, or a real problem he has every day of his life.
Anyway, he vibes as unstable, manipulative, poor at communicating, and impulsive. Or at the minimum a liar, which is sucky. I’d be out.
Who cares
He still banged you with absolutely zero effort, lied to You and now you’re still talking about him to strangers while he probably hasn’t thought about you at all
Call it whatever you need to to cope
He sounds really insecure. I’m guessing he made that up in hopes that stirring up a little jealousy in a scenario where you can’t be legitimately mad at him since you’re not exclusive would light a fire inside of you and want to have the exclusive talk with him.
I’d be willing to bet this happened to him in reverse and his insecure, needy self was pining for the girl even harder before she eventually ghosted him. The fact that it didn’t work on you was puzzling to him because it totally worked on him before.
Or it’s something else, who knows. People are weird, especially the weird ones
Sounds like drama. Already lying trying to make you jealous. Emotionally immature, good on you to pass.
Does his name start with an “A?” 😭
Pass
Dude is a bitch.