How do I 33F get over trust issues with 40M husband
Backstory: we’ve been married for 2 years, been with each other for 13 years with 2 kids 7 and 18 mo).
Cutting to the chase he cheated in the past approximately 6 years ago- we were engaged (but I wasn’t ready), typical gaslighting/blaming me and he left- this was 4 years ago. We have since gone to therapy prior to reconciling and I’ve had full access to his phone and we have our locations available. I think we’ve both grown a lot since the .
He’s very loving now, said he’s very lucky to be married to me. Admits he was immature (even being older). We worked through the issues with a therapist before we got back together. I’ve stopped checking his phone/location but they are still available to me. Still, in he back of my mind, I can’t help but think I’m not what he wants. Sometimes I think that even having the location is easy to fake (if he really wanted to)
I feel like this is trauma leftover and I’ve gone to so many therapists to shake this feeling but it just lingers. While we were broken up I dated other people and I think this got in the way. For those who have experienced this: what do you do to get over it/have these feelings go away. I still get triggered.
TLDR: husband cheated before marriage, left me with trauma and I feel like it’ll never go away no matter who I am with