I had enough

I don’t even know where to start. My mind is all over the place. I’m confused but need to make a decision soon. I have had enough.

I’m 40 years old, my wife is 39. We have two kids, 10 and 12 years old. We have been together for 18 years, married for 11 just to give you some context.

Over the years we have grown apart. For one, I am not attracted to her physically anymore. She gained over 100 lbs over the last few years. I understand things happen, and I would be fine with it if she was attempting to get healthy and look appealing but she has zero drive to fix her weight. She’s content with where she is.

Another major issue we are having is that she feels that she is putting in ALL the work in our household and I’m not chipping in. Again to give you context, I work from home remotely – approximately 50 hours a week. My wife does not drive, so it’s my responsibility to drive the kids to school in the morning (1 hour there and back) and then pick them up on lunch again in the afternoon (1 hour there and back). Also, any shopping, doctor appts, anything involving leaving the house HAS to involve me as she does not drive. We live in FL, can’t go anywhere without driving.

Here is what she does – laundry, cooks 2-3 times a week, helps kids with homework, gets their clothes ready etc. Once in a while she will clean the house, but half the time it’s just a mess as I have no energy to do anything when I get off work at 8pm.

Her constant complaint is that I don’t do enough. She gets up, gets the kids prepped in the morning (no breakfast, irons clothes and fills their water bottles) and then sits on the couch for 8 hours till they get back while I work.

I’m getting off track though, I have been thinking about this for a long time and I want to leave her. I can afford to pay for my own place while I still pay for all of hers and kids expenses which she figures things out. I don’t think she would want me to take the kids, although that would be so much better for me.

I want to rent an apartment few minutes from where we currently live and have them stay in our big apartment that we are currently in. I still plan to drive the kids and spend as much time as I can with them.

Need to figure out how to move out without causing a huge scene. I tried to leave once and it ended up with her going crazy, trying to hit me and then blaming everything on me.

Any thoughts, comments, insights, experiences that anyone can share?

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EDITED: Thank you for the “see the lawyer comments”. I should have disclosed that I went to law school and have that part covered. But thank you for looking out.