Is anyone even going to want me?

48 comments

1. Everything in life is based on probabilities. The probability that any random man is going to want to date a single mom with baggage is relatively low, but approach enough men and eventually you’ll find one. Just means you’ll have to work harder than before.

2. this is going to sound really bad… but here goes. hey where you from? yes i just did that and hit on you dm me

3. Sorry for your loss. Please take your time with these things and get back out there when you’re ready. Find other ways to have people around, see friends or make new ones with similar interests, maybe see family more if that’s an option, keep busy doing things you like and working on yourself.

4. Certainly anything is possible however you don’t want to think about explaining yourself. Honestly it doesn’t matter what happened it matters what you can offer in a relationship and what you can attract in a partnership

5. There are a huge number of people in the world for whom this would not be a dealbreaker, or to take it further, even an issue at all.

   Source: I am a man for whom what you’re describing would not be an issue at all.

   I am so sorry that you have gone through such a difficult stretch of life. I hope things get better for you. None of this means you cannot find love!

6. Do you worry that noone will want to be with you?

   I definitely think you should take time to work through your loss. And it is also important to think about your child and what you want in a relationship. What motivates you to want a relationship? What qualities would you want in a partner?

   Again; give yourself time and space. Get to know people and enjoy your life. A partner enhances your life, but sometimes we expect them to fill a gap.

7. While there is nothing wrong with being a single mom, you’re also a widow. You didn’t get knocked up by some jerk who left you. He passed away. A lot of the stigma of single motherhood comes from the belief that she “chose the wrong guy”. You did not.

   You need time to grieve, and I really do suggest focusing on your healing before worrying about your next relationship. But yes, someone will want you. Your life isn’t over. And you’re deserving of love just as much as childless women.

8. Things happen to all of us daily it’s not easy being without partner it’s not for everyone, their are some that enjoys life just as well single it’s harder with your whole experience together going on but be honest and love will find you.

9. I know I don’t have a problem with someone like you, but I am also not young anymore. It just takes time to find the rite person.

10. there is nothing wrong with single moms. I was and am a single dad. I raised my son without his mom. I never dated while raising him, but that was my choice. I strongly advise you to be very selective if you find someone. I screwed up big time and got married when my son was 13. I knew her for 16 years before, but she could not keep herself together, and her true self came out. She had to have complete control of everything, and everything had to be all about her. You can not trust or believe everyone. She cheated on me with someone she had dated before me. I have basically remained by myself since. Yes it does get lonely at times, but eventually, someone will come alone. Do not rush things.

11. 23M I never had a girlfriend because I don’t want to be judged because of my disability

12. Dm plz

13. Well it will depend there are guys for you to date even in your situation but are you going to be attracted to them.

14. Yes

15. I would love to get to know you and believe me what I seen in my life besides if a man can’t accept your past he needs go ahead and kick rocks

16. I belong to an online group of young widows. Quite a few have children and most seem to have had no issue finding a person to start their “next chapter” with although quite a few seem to have conflicting feelings about whether they are ready or not.

    This is all anecdotal though so take it with a grain of salt.

17. Hey.. Relax.. Dont worry… This phase shall too pass..
    Dont feel like this.. There are plenty of nice guys out there who will want to be around you, With you.

    Just choose the one with whom you want to be with..
    Dont dwell on this phase much.. . This shall pass.
    God bless you.

18. Sorry for your loss. There are men that would want you.

    It’s hard. Don’t want to be lonely, especially with a child coming, but you’re not over your bf”s passing, and may not be sure if you won’t be honoring him. But he’ll want you and your child to be happy. The right man you find or finds you will understand and will be supportive. And the right man will love both you and your child. Don’t be afraid.

    For me, it’s been almost 3 years, and I think I’m ready to start dating again as the loneliness makes its presence known every day but i had my chamces but always backed away because of her. But i know ahell wamt me ro be happy. So, from my perspective, my suggestion is to make sure you grieve and when you feel the time is right, you will know it and just know that your bf would want you to be happy as you deserve to be. But just because you’ll be with someone, it doesn’t mean he will be forgotten, and if you’re with the right person, the new man will be accepting and supportive of that.

    You’ll be fine. Don’t be in such a rush. I wish you and your child well. Again, sorry for your loss.

19. Take your time to heal. You’re not the single mom example that most men refer to when they say they won’t date a single mom. I’m sorry for your loss and don’t forget that in order to be understood when you’re in your feelings about grief, you must also be able to understand those feelings yourself as well. The good thing is that you’re not alone. Everyone experiences grief in some way shape or form, just remember to ask yourself how long am I going to let my grief define my life. It’ll help you realize when you haven’t made progress and recenter your mind and emotions when grief flares up. I believe in you OP.

20. Well ask yourself what do you honestly bring to the table? Other than a kid that he will have to raise and sex? This is why I’m single because I already raised my kids and I haven’t found anyone I just click with long term. I fell into the I’m dating her because I’m lonely and sex is nice trap lol but in the end if they aren’t clicking and becoming your best buddy for life save yourself the heartbreak and just keep looking. Sorry for your loss your situation is truly heartbreaking

21. If your story scares people away, I’m a hopeless cause. Personally I’ve heard some men say they prefer moms because they’re more mature and not as needy. However I’d say you could raise your kids and even end up finding a wild romance once their 18.. my mom found her true love when I was 15 and she was 45.. I lost the lomf of 5 years and couldn’t even imagine having been pregnant… I feel like you should take this time to enjoy this new love coming into your life and bonding with them.. anyone who has genuine intentions with you, will embrace your children. I’m 32F and come from a blended family, I love my step family.. and I’ve always been okay with dating a man with kids..

22. Your children and your bf passing isn’t baggage .. its something that gives you depth and made you strong .. anyone who sees it as baggage.. must be a rather sheltered naive person

23. Work on yourself and sort your emotions and self value first.
    Also look for partners with children. Asking a man to be full responsible while not having children on his own is quite difficult and unfair.

    And as a mother you will expect your future partner to be involved in your child’s life.

    Sorry for your lost. How old is your baby? Girl or boy? Now you are a mother. Think about the men you put in your life! Your child’s safety and stability are really important. Not to deny you needing a partner but think very well when and how to bring that person to your life.

24. You’ll be alright just keep working hard to support your baby and the right person will find u

25. Pffft…. Yes, plenty of people. You need to get your affairs in order and heal first before seeking a relationship. Regarding the loneliness, get out, meet people, join groups, hang out with other mums if nothing else, have a life outside of your child. Then, once you are secure in yourself, start dating again.

26. Your post gives me the idea that you want to solve your loneliness with dating. That’s a negative motivation. You better seek new/more friends or hobbies, sports etc for that. Especially because you also say that you still miss your bf a lot.

27. Yea. People will. I wouldn’t tell them all the baggage right away and make sure they’re there for a serious relationship but yea. They will. Why not? You have issues? Dude we all do.

28. There is absolutely a subculture that exists out there that paints single moms as un-dateable, but trust me when I say that these men are not anyone you would want in your life. They don’t want anything but virgins under 25 in order to hide their own inadequacies through the relative inexperience of those women. Don’t worry about them.
    Dating isn’t easy, but if you keep putting yourself out there, you will eventually hit the right match. If you can avoid it, don’t date online. Good luck!

29. not ever

30. Yes, there is someone for everyone. I promise. 💚

31. A lot of men date single moms I would love to but I’m older.

32. Here

33. Yes, there are men who will still want you even with our background. Just don’t get in a hurry to look for one though because you will only bring more grief on yourself. If you rush into a relationship, you will only be asking for trouble. And don’t be afraid to be honest and upfront, if he really likes you, nothing will matter to him anyways.

34. Here’s a story about my sister. She married a complete asshole. He cheated on her. Then he got her pregnant and was cheating on her some more- She filed for divorce.
    Then she met this new guy and I thought, “wow! she’s six months pregnant and this guy doesn’t even care that she isn’t even fully divorced yet and she’s going to have another man’s baby!”
    I was her Lamaze coach and then the two of them got serious and she decided to have him be her Lamaze coach for the end of the pregnancy and I remember the 2 of us were in the delivery room with her, and I saw tears streaming down his face and I thought wow this guy is awesome.
    There are some special guys out there! You just gotta look :))

35. Do it when ur ready test the waters have run u set the rules and go for it. I was 8m pregnant when my husband passed 5 yrs later my 10yr asked me if I was ready to date I about flipped like how and all the baggage 3 kids one in 20s all way to 5yr old I got out there dated and naw I stopped cuz yeah. But than one day the man my friends would tell me I’ll never find. Found me been a yr now. And after everything I feel like I won the lottery. So do what u feel don’t settle and have fun tell yall find each other good luck

36. Did you have the baby?

37. My boyfriend died last July, 3 weeks later I found out I was pregnant. I had my baby in March and I am finding interest in getting back out there but I still grieve my boyfriend and I grieve who I used to be before I was pregnant and lost of a partner. I will tell you though guys are still definitely into women with children just be care. You are desirable even when it doesn’t feel like it.

38. Can I be your friend?

39. You may have some more troubles but your gonna end up weeding the bad ones out. there are some people out there who cant have kids and would love to help you with yours its just a search to find that person or people.

40. I’m so sorry for your loss. I am F24 and I’m a single mum with 2 kids. One kid is so easy. Personally, I find that guys like girls with ONE kid more than 2+. Just my observation. But it’s easy. Even with the title of a single mum it’s not impossible to find someone who will take you and 1 child on. It’s very rare to find a good person who doesn’t have a child these days

41. Yes if a guy likes you he could be willing to accept your children. Happens all the time, maybe he can’t have children of his own but still wants a family. I have helped raise five children that were not my own, no regrets. I do think if you are younger it’s more difficult but yes. Maybe a guy a little more mature might be up for the challenge 😊

42. I was a single mum of 3 and then had a baby on my own so was a single mum of 4. Never had a problem finding dates or meeting people and have made some truly amazing friends along the way.

    I am re-partnered now and my partner has 2 kids. Lots of my single mum friends have met people. Blending families isn’t easy but the right person doesn’t care about you being a single parent.

    That being said dating a single parent isn’t for everyone and it’s important to not get hung up on this. People are allowed to have their preferences and it’s not personal.

43. Don’t believe the internet bs, single moms have no problems in the dating world.

44. Dating will be fine as long as you’re open minded and don’t turn down a great guy just because of looks, education etc. Many people are shallow as fuck and that’s why they end up or get stuck with shitty partners. Sorry for your loss

45. The right guy will hear your story and stay

46. Most men, including myself, are very wary of getting involved with a woman with a child because you know that regardless the child will be the focus, unless the guy wants to be a surrogate father,it’s an issue. bigger question is why so many women have children with loser guys who will eventually bolt and leave people suffering. I have to blame women to a certain degree for picking these loser guys and getting pregnant by them.

47. They will be someone who will accept you for who you are, but you kid must be able to accept him.

48. Oh, no, you will be juuuust fine I promise. I met my husband a month after my son’s 1st birthday, we’ve been together for 10 years and they adore each other. I understand the fear though. I was told when dating that no one would want a single mom, jokes on them I guess.