What has being in a toxic relationship caused you to say or do that you would never say or do under healthier circumstances?

16 comments

1. React personally to someone being overwhelmed by something unrelated to me. Panic non stop about things beyond my control because I feel I’ll be to Blame

2. For me it was not being able to or feel comfortable to ever say no to someone.
   Took years to learn I could do that. My SO had been very helpful for me to realize I can say no and praises me when I’m in a situation where I felt I couldn’t say no and still did.

3. Apologising all the time. Everything was my fault.

4. Having a positive body image. They were really focused on my appearance, and I felt like they were using me for my body.

5. I was in a toxic relationship where my ex would hangout with girls one on one and wouldn’t even introduce me to those girls citing they are not as important friends to be introduced to a girlfriend.

   Later, he also went on a trip with one of these female friends and broke up with me right after coming back from this trip, even though it was my birthday.

   I never doubted male-female friendships before but this experience has really twisted things in my head.

6. I was begging, pleading with them every single time for anything. To stay longer, to stay over, to go out, to stay in, which graduated to finally please don’t go. I have never lost my self-respect like I did.

   I was constantly second guessing the status of our relationship since things were so ambiguous. Now that I think of it, it’s because she didn’t know what she wanted and I thought she wanted me. Ugh.

   We also brought out the absolute worst in each other, which is why we ended up parting ways. Both of us were terrified of what we had created and we ended up doing things, that were awful to one another and completely out of character for ourselves.

7. Doubt myself. I still don’t know who I really am and what I really like, can do and do good

8. Sending nudes.

9. I mean he made me ask permission to go outside and meet with friends. He was so scared I would find someone else. He had all my passwords and social media accounts and booted all males from my Instagram and FB. I remember I challenged him and he hit me hard enough I collapsed and saw stars and he was than helping me up and his immediate response was “Look what you made me do.”

10. I cannot simply talk to someone. Everything I say I think of how they will use it against me. Most people know very little about me and I hold everyone at a distance. I choose what they know and I don’t trust anyone.

11. Ahhhh so many things. I was self harming, hitting myself in the face. Punching my leg, scratching my arms. Cutting myself in the bathtub. Getting angry and then feeling rage. Arguing and so much crying. Knocking shit off the counter. Begged a man to love me and show me he cared about me. Let him be my source of happiness and validation.

    Dont do or feel any of those things since we broke up. Hardly ever get angry. I’ll never beg a man for anything ever again.

12. My toxic grandma asked why I am so mean, and I replied with “you have to howl if you live with wolves” (my interpretation of the native saying)

13. Bringing toxicity into a new relationship. It is something so hard to come out of when it is all you are used too.

14. allow myself to be publicly humiliated.

15. “Just tell me what you want and I can be it!” Idk why but hearing myself say that kind of switched the lights on for me. I did a double take and then told him he had to leave because this wasn’t healthy. He didn’t want to leave but he had to. Of course, he didn’t have a car and this was before cell phones so he had to walk home, fifteen miles, but he was toxic so I don’t feel bad

16. I just.. go blank when dealing with any level of confrontation. My boyfriend asks if he upset me and I just zone out, too used to my ex yelling at me anytime I was upset.