hey guys! I would love to get some advice from the guys here on how to take a mans (25M) virginity. I (24F) personally always dated guys that where a few years older than me so I never had to take someone’s virginity before. I remember my first time not really being very special, I was 18, we did it, that was it. I personally didn’t care about my virginity, it’s just not that important to me. the guy I’m seeing at the moment is 25 and a virgin so I can imagine it’s a bigger deal for him then it was for me at the time. I’m pretty sure he wants to do it, just not sure when yet. but better to be prepared.
I’d love to hear tips on:
\- what we should discus beforehand
\- how we should go about the sex itself (him on top? me on top?)
\- what to do afterwards
I’m personally thinking we shouldn’t go for PiV right away, maybe tell him there’s no pressure and do some foreplay the first time and then go further later. I’m also letting him know it’s more about having fun than performance or making someone cum.
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let me know what you think/ how you would’ve liked to lose your virginity!
5 comments
That reminds me of my first time. I was a virgin, she was already experienced. She asked me if I really wanted it, I put on a condom, she sat on me. It was a very short pleasure š
May I suggest “positive stroking” or would that be totally out of order?
If he is inexperienced, there got to be plenty of things that will be firsts for him. Things that you can make a bit of a show about giving him his first experience of.
Depending on what kind of relationships he’s had in the past, it can very well be a first to even get to *see* his first pair of boobs. And don’t get me started on touching. And kissing. Caressing.
And then you can sort of start over with presenting him with his first chance to help a girl out of a bra and watch the girls in full. And touch. And kiss. And caress.
Depending on his previous experiences, of course.
My point is pretty much that if you think about it a bit, you realise that there are plenty of chances to present him with new firsts. Making out. Making out with clothes in disarray. Making out with just a select few pieces of clothes on. Caressing with just a few pieces of clothing on. Making out with no clothes on. Caressing with no clothes on. And, of course, more to-the-point attention; works with both clothes on and without them.
And maybe a detour into the land of oral. Mutual oral.
And if all of those things are new and exciting AND has a bit of a learning curve for him…maybe its not really the end of the world that he is not immediately ending up inside you, you know? The journey will ALSO be pretty damn awesome.
That said, some of these stops along the way may be quite swiftly dealt with. And others may deserve to linger on for quite some time. And you don’t really know which one it is until you have tried it.
From now on, plan things with the insight that it MAY happen pretty damn soon. Especially if you ar both well motivated, such as you may be after just a while if things play out that way. Don’t assume that he has his own condoms, buy a pack and bring it with you just in case.
Many, many guys practice getting a condom on before, which is convenient and all considering that they have access to all the equipment they need for it. But don’t assume that he is one of them. There is a chance that the one of you who has the most experience with condoms is…well, you.
> what we should discuss beforehand
If nothing else, the consent conversation is super-important. “Do you want to be in me?” is a very important question. You may get a response that can’t really find words and sound a bit like *”yereghsh”* accompanied with a very insistent nod.
> him on top? Me on top?
If you are on top, you remove the need for him to know and understand so much of your anatomy that he can get everything comfortable and right at the first attempt. Your natural angle inside is impossible to see, besides that it’s also a hint individual. You definitely know better where to push, how to push and what angle to push. If you do it, it will be on your terms.
Assume, for the sake of reasoning, that he knows that women get wet to be able to have sex. But don’t even think about assuming that he knows HOW wet it takes. Besides that it’s a bit individual, they don’t teach you that anywhere. Only a girl who wants to show him can teach him how to tell.
I dunno. If you are doing the hormonal birth control thing, maybe the first question you want to ask yourself is if you think you want his first time to be rubbered up or natural.
One super-important thing, though; if it turns out that he is a fast blower, make sure that there is time for recovery and starting over.
EDIT: if this comment leaves you with more questions, just ask.
Here’s a very minor thing that came up when I first had sex (at 19):
I’m uncircumcised, and I didn’t pull my foreskin back before putting the condom on. It wasn’t disastrous, but I probably wouldn’t have had to finish by jerking off if I’d just pulled it back. Never mind putting a dab of lube in there.
I guess that brings up the wider goal: you’re looking for everyone to have fun. It seems like the common knowledge is that young men have all been ruined by porn. So, he may have some definite ideas about how things are supposed to work based on that.
First tip: phrase it differently! Youāre not ātakingā anything from anyone