Just some quick context – my immediate family can be very toxic, especially towards me sometimes. They’ve all got their own issues which can make them unbearable to be around and I cant blame my boyfriend for feeling the disdain that he does.
However when it comes to my boyfriend they don’t have any issues with him at all except the fact he never comes around, and he never comes around because he doesn’t like how they treat me. Despite this, I still want him to be there for family things (X-mas, weddings, etc). I don’t know why its so important to me when my family treats me like crap, so I’m conflicted there as well.
He says he wants to try to get along with them, but also says he’s pretty solid on how he feels about certain family members, like my sister for example (that’s a whole other can of worms). But how can I ever get him to be okay with a family that will treat me poorly? They’re not COMPLETELY bad but I cant help but feel hurt when he doesn’t want to come around them, but I also can’t blame him for feeling the way he does. I want him to be a part of my life forever but I don’t know how to make that happen if I cant even bring him around my family, for which I can understand why. What do I do, if I can do anything at all, to understand how he feels or fix the rift between him and my family?
tl;dr – My boyfriend cant stand my toxic family. I understand how he feels, but it still hurts when he won’t come around them and it’s causing a rift between me and him and our future.
1 comment
Better question: why are YOU okay with a family that treats you poorly?