How did it go when an ex texted/messaged you out the blue?

17 comments

1. I did not answer and it took less than two minutes for him to deteriorate into calling me names and saying I deserved everything that happened.

2. Had an ex msg me out of the blue one night saying ‘Hi’, I obviously didn’t have her number no more so I replied asking who it was & she replied telling me who she was… I didn’t reply, she msg again an hour or so later telling me she was sorry for what happened & so on, missed me, I didn’t reply again, she msg again later that night saying sorry again, would like to meet to speak about things & be friends, see where it goes.

   I replied with “Don’t contact me ever again.”

   As smoking hot as she was, I didn’t deserve to be put through the ringer, cheated on, lied too, I wasn’t going through that again.

3. I had a good experience – I had broken up with my boyfriend of about 4 years, the relationship was quite unhealthy. He was not very affectionate so it felt really one sided and I felt unloved, but I had a lot of mental health issues around trust/abandonment. We stayed together all that time before I gave up because in the back of my mind I thought there is affection inside him but there’s something blocking it. Turns out it was probably my behaviour doing that.

   Naturally I blamed everything on him, but I realise now that we were both to blame and it’s all forgotten about.

   He kept reaching out to me, I kept ignoring as I thought that was the right thing to do. Eventually I gave in and spoke to him. He told me he had never stopped thinking about me. I wasn’t sure what to make of that since he was never affectionate during the relationship, but I gave it a chance and saw him again. That was about a year ago and I am now happier than I have ever been, he is the absolute perfect partner and I am so in love with him it’s unreal. I am in therapy for my trust issues and he is extremely affectionate, I hope that we last forever.

   So there’s an example of a nice outcome! 🙂

4. He messaged me after years of not talking to tell me he was having a baby with his girlfriend. I congratulated him. Haven’t spoken since. I thought it was a bit odd that he wanted to tell me.

5. [removed]

6. He sent me an audio clip of him singing “Yellow” by Coldplay and playing it on the piano after I posted about my boyfriend a few times on social media. I replied something like “I don’t know what to say to this lol” and then we didn’t ever message again.

7. I’m intentionally no contact with exes, so in most cases it went like this:

   * Not answering that/reading that
   * Ignore

   Depending on the context and person, maybe also:

   * Document
   * Block

   All of my exes are from long ago and don’t have any valid reason to need to contact me at this point.

8. This may sound trivial cause i was so young.

   I met a guy on a cruise in 7th grade, we “long distance dated” for 2 years. Only time I ever saw him was on that cruise. I say that in quotations because we were so young and never hung out but we talked on the phone for hours everyday.
   He didnt talk to me for a week straight, which was unusual since we talked every night and day. That turned into a month so i said whatever to him and then got with a new guy that liked me. We dated for a week and then my ex texts me saying someone smashed his phone but he sounded so distant and different.

   But i had already fallen for this other guy, yeah after a week, and so i broke up with the new guy to try and figure things out cause i didnt wanna string him along. Well a week after i broke up with him we got back together and have been together since. Been together for 10 years and married for 5 so i made the right choice

9. Toxic mess immediately. Like what am I supposed to say to “I hope your (yep, your not you’re) happy with that little boy you ran off with.” Mind you my husband is 6’4” and my ex and I were the same height at 5’9”. So when I said that, he blew up. Started making threats, I know where you live and work, blah blah blah, so I told him it would be the last mistake he ever made if he showed up anywhere I am. He took it as a challenge and ended up with a broken nose, broken cheek, concussion, got his friends ass beat, and ended up in jail which cemented my permanent criminal restraining order plea.

   So I guess it worked out for me

10. I hate when that happens… I got so fed up with them constantly trying to message me and get me back that I’ve blocked them on literally everything. I’m in a happy/serious relationship and I honestly don’t date guys more than once anymore. I’ve learned my lesson.. they’re an ex for a reason. They’ll just keep playing you and it’s exhausting.

11. My ex emailed me last year to say he was diagnosed with autism and ADHD, and that he’s understood he’s a-sexual, which made a lot of sense. He thought I’d like to know.

    He and I really loved each other and thought we could overcome the obvious incompatibility but it was pretty clear pretty quickly it won’t. I learned a lot, I was very young when we met (11-12 years ago) and it was good to get closure and know that a) he’s ok b) he’s understanding himself better now c) he’s feeling less like a freak d) there’s no hard feelings

12. That piece of garbage woman texted me two years after I stopped texting her, telling me she wonders how I am doing, she’s doing fine, and she thought about me every single day.

    This woman flirted with me for 2 years, told me she can imagine a relationship with me and would love to move in with me to raise a child together. When I finally asked her out, with flowers, when we were alone because I did not want the social pressure on her with people around, she agreed.

    A week later she broke it off, per TEXT, one day before christmas, saying she thought she could do it but she can’t and she met someone.

    We stayed friends but it was never like before, with her berating and insulting me when I moved seats in class for a while to get over her because “everyone was asking her why I moved away”. During one night, I needed her as my best friend because I just drunkenly lost my virginity at 18 to a stranger, and I felt like garbage. She never texted back, never called, never asked what was wrong.

    And now, two years later, she has the AUDACITY to text me she thought about me every day. I’ve rarely felt so angry than with this woman. If she was in front of me I’d punch her teeth in. Manipulating piece of garbage. Am I glad I saw how toxic she was at the end.

13. I asked if he was contacting me after five years because he hit a dry spell. He said he just wanted to see how I was doing, to which I responded uh-huh. He tried weasling his way into a meet-up, and I basically told him “Access Denied”.

14. After a really rough breakup, I texted a previous ex out of the blue because I really needed someone to talk to. The previous ex and I had been together for five years and had not communicated in over a year and a half. We got drinks and chatted all night long. It was really like we had not skipped a beat. We hung out as friends over the next year, but I think he had a hard time being friends for a variety of reasons. We eventually stopped talking and I haven’t heard from him in 2 years.

15. It was okay every time. It was usually an apology/hey, how’s stuff. Very calm, casual, maybe a meet and there was that.
    I always made sure to be as far as possible for a while (1 year at least) to avoid awkward situations and so on but after that, no issues.

    My weird encounters have always been with the exes of my exes, not my exes themselves. 😂😂😂

16. It’s been over ten years since I’ve seen my ex, and part of me still harbours a lot of mixed pain/hurt over our breakup. I often wonder if seeing him/speaking to him would give me closure or just turn me into a bigger mess. Doesn’t help that even to this day I dream about him regularly.

17. 2 cases.

    1: We’d broken up semi-mutually. He initiated it and I agreed, he then doubled back but I stood my ground. We didn’t speak for a bit, he contacted me again though after a while. We became friends, very good friends. Spent 2 years as just friends, then I realized I still loved him. Kept dropping hints to him because I was scared he didn’t like me anymore (which was a fair assumption lmfao, it’d been two damn years.) He picked up my hints and started dropping his own, I brought up a convo about our feelings. He confessed, I confessed. He asked if I wanted to try dating again , I said yes. Now we datin :}

    2: random message few days after the breakup, was kinda hoping we’d become friends. Nope, he messaged me to call me all sorts of degrading terms after finding out I had gotten back with my ex (the one in story 1 LOL). Hate his guts and wish we never dated, he was down right abusive but tells everyone I was the “bad guy” despite his constant cheating and manipulation.