Let me preface this by saying I (20m) am a virgin. I’ve kissed people before and drunkenly did some hand stuff here and there, but those experiences weren’t that great and they were with the wrong people. I also want to add that I watched a lot of porn growing up and it did end up fucking (heh) with my head, but I quit a while ago and I haven’t jerked off in over two weeks.
Alright, so I met this girl (20f) on bumble around 2 months ago and we hit it off really well. We kissed on the first date but haven’t gotten intimate until around halloween, when we got drunk at a party and I fingered her in the bathroom for a few minutes until someone knocked at the door. The second time was yesterday, when I spent the night at her place. We were making out on her bed and she asked me if it was okay for her to touch my dick. I don’t know why, I got hard pretty quickly (that was sort of an issue in the past) and I was turned on, but for some reason the thought (even right now) of her touching my dick makes me extremely nervous, to the point where I get kind of sick. Luckily she’s very sweet and understanding, so it wasn’t a big issue and I just ended up fingering her which was really nice, but it’s still messing with my head. I want to have sex with her but I get all shaky and a racing heart by the thought of her reaching down there. I feel so pathetic about it too. All my friends ask me if we’ve done it yet and I feel so weird explaining myself. One time a guy was all like “wait so you rejected pussy???” and I just felt like something’s wrong with me. Still do.
Some advice would be nice. Thanks for reading this
4 comments
If you feel this is just general nerves then you might just ask yourself if you are comfortable trying things with her even though it makes you nervous. Maybe trying in steps. Touching while clothed has similar issues? Touch in general a problem?
If this is to the point of physical inability or any efforts are unbearable. Perhaps there is some past trauma and things might be a therapy consideration.
Don’t give into peer pressure. Do it on your own terms. Playfully tell your friends what happens in the bedroom stays in the bedroom. Relax.
I think you are subconsciously expecting to perform in the way that you have been seeing in porn all growing up. Trust me, that stuff is fake and not at all how real sexual encounters go. As long as she is willing to be patient with you, you have nothing to worry about. Take it at your own pace and have fun.
I think u just get nervous bc our whole lives we don’t let anyone see our penis, and when it’s time for some action, some guys can’t believe that this is actually happening, so you reacted that way. But it’s ok. Just don’t let it happen again, you’re supposed to be the one that’s confident. You’re in a good spot.